Impossible Things
by olivia.c.king1
Summary: After receiving devastating news, Dixie's longing to be a mother reignites. How will this change Jeff and Dixie's life and future together and what challenges will the husband and wife duo face?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- okay, so after watching last night's episode I had this idea which I thought was worth writing down so here is the start of it. I'm very exited as Jeff and Dixie might have a story line coming up! I hope they stay married though; I really couldn't bare it if they broke up! **** If this is wrong factually please don't kill me, I am not to sure on the subject but I have tried my hardest! I hope every one enjoys so please review I always love reading them through! X**

Chapter 1

"Jeff! We're going to be late! Hurry up!" Dixie yelled up the stairs angrily.

"Alright, alright! I'm coming!" Jeff ran down the stairs. Shrugging on his coat, he grabbed his keys off the side and ran out to the car slamming the door behind him. after getting into the passenger side he turned on the radio and caught a glimpse of Dixie glaring at him.

"What?" he asked. Dixie looked at him despairingly.

"do you always have to be late? Your such a typical man."

"Typical?! I'm not typical!" Dixie started the car and started to drive down the street.

"Yes, you are Jeffrey. You leave you dirty washing on the floor for me to pick up, you leave mouldy plates out on the side and you're always late or down the boozer. You are a typical man!"

"Is that how you see me? Well I'm crushed Dixie, crushed!" Dixie sniggered.

"You coming down the pub after shift then? Or is your headache back again?" he mocked her thinking she would laugh or at least smile. She didn't. She just set her eyes firmly on the road ahead, mumbling about how she was busy that evening doing important things. Jeff looked at her disbelieving her completely.

"Really Dixie?"

"Yeah um… and my headache hasn't really gone yet, I think the nose in the pub might make it come back…"

"Mmm…" Jeff looked concerned.

"How about me an you cuddle up on the sofa for a film? If you're good I might even get you some chocolate." Dixie pulled up outside the ambulance station.

"Um, no. You're all right. You go… I'll just have an early night if that's okay."

"You sure princess? I don't mind."

"Defiantly, it'll be nice to have the house to myself for a night. A bit of peace and quiet." She abruptly got out of the car slamming the door behind her. Jeff got out and ran to catch up with Dixie.

"Dix, do you not like living with me? Because, I know I wind you up sometimes but I really don't mean it. I like living with you… a lot actually." Dixie stopped walking and took Jeff's hands in hers and made him look at her properly.

"I do too Jeffrey. I do, it's just tonight maybe a little bit of peace and quiet might be nice." Jeff pulled her into his arms.

"Naw… I wuv you Dixie." He planted wet kisses all over her face making her squeal delight. He held her closer nuzzling into her hair breathing in the scent of her shampoo and perfume. It was the one he had brought her for Christmas; he had spent hours looking for the perfect one. It had cost him an arm and a leg but it was worth it, she wore it every day. Dixie pulled back slightly.

"Should we go and do some work then Mr. Collier?" Jeff nodded and linked arms with Dixie walking into the ambulance station together. He would have to keep an eye on her this shift if she wasn't feeling well.

The end of the shift came quickly and although Jeff had been observing her carefully, Dixie had shown no signs of being ill, she was a little subdued and unusually quiet. After their shift, Jeff stood outside the car waiting for Dixie. She walked out with her hands in her pocket, hunched over and staring at the floor. She looked up at him and noticed him standing by the car.

"Jeff, you're meant to be at the pub."

"Yeah well, I just came to say goodbye. Are you sure you want to go home by yourself? My offer still stands."

Dixie looked like she was considering it but eventually shook her head softly.

"I'm good. Just don't come back too drunk." She smiled weakly before heading round to the other side of the car getting in and starting the engine. Jeff waved as she drove off. He watched her until se went round the corner before heading off to the pub.

Dixie arrived home tired mentally and physically. She dropped her keys on the side and wearily took her shoes off. Lil abs came up excitedly to meet her but she was in her own world, she flopped down on the sofa sighing heavily. She lay on her side and curled up into a tight ball shutting her eyes to the cruel world. She wrapped her arms around herself and whimpered quietly. A tear slid down her face. The clock said 6:27pm. 3 minutes. 3 minutes until she would get the call to tell her if she was a failure or not. That's what she was. A failure. Everyone in her life had told her that at one point or another. Her father because she was a lesbian, she had failed her mother when she passed away and she had failed her best friend by loving her and not being able to simply be her friend. And now even her body was telling her she was a failure. Except maybe one person. Jeff. He was the one person that had never questioned her ability and was always there for her whatever the time, whatever the day. He would always be there for her. Then why wasn't he here? Because she had told him to go. Tears rapidly trickled down her cheeks leaving trails behind. Now she had failed Jeff by shutting him out. She openly began crying and the tears didn't stop. She didn't want them to; she didn't deserve to be happy. She wanted Jeff, she shouted out his name not caring who heard. She wanted his warmth and to be safe, she wanted him to wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything would be okay and that she wasn't a failure and never would be. She got up and ran up the stairs tripping on up the last few hitting her leg on the stair banister. She grabbed hold of it in pain; she hobbled over to Jeff's room and went in immediately breathing in the scent of his room and the scattered array of his belongings. She dived under his thick duvet taking long, shuddering breaths trying to calm herself. She cuddled Jeff's pillow close to her chest. Thoughts were racing around her head, some of them made her scared and unsure so she put them to the back of her mind. She missed him terribly and wanted him to burst in through the door and take her in his arms and whisk her away some exotic island were it would be just her and Jeff forever. After a few minutes she had calmed her crying to quiet sniffles when the dreaded sound blared out in the silent house. The beeping of the phone screamed at her. She had to be strong. Holding Jeff's pillow close, she walked warily down the stairs and on the last ring, she picked it up.

"Mrs. collier?"

"Yes."

"This is Doctor Martins, I have your test results." Dixie drew a deep breath.

"And?" She crossed her fingers and tightly scrunched her eyes closed.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Collier. It's negative." The world stopped. Dixie felt numb and dropped the phone down on the floor and stared at it. Her breathing became labored and she bent over sliding down the wall to the floor. So, that was it. Kathleen Collier was a failure. The man was still on the phone.

"Hello? Hello Mrs. Collier?" he reluctantly picked up the phone.

"I'm still here… just a bit shocked. So, is there nothing I can do?" her voice was barely a whisper. Everything felt surreal like it wasn't actually happening.

"No, I'm so sorry. Mrs. Collier there is always fostering and adoption. If you come back into the surgery we can discuss this more, I can put you in touch with people who can help. Is Mr. Collier there?"

"No, I-I need to go. I um… bye." She hung up. Lil abs sat by her whimpering. Dixie now realized how tired she actually was. She held Jeff's pillow close considering whether or not she should call Jeff. She ached being away from him. She was so tired and she honestly didn't see the point. He wasn't going to magically make her periods come back. They had become lighter and lighter until they simply stopped; she had looked it up on the Internet and went to the doctors where they had performed a test. She hadn't told Jeff; he would just worry. And at the time she didn't want him to she regretted this now. She wanted to be fussed over by Jeff, she wanted to be center of his attention and for once in her life Dixie wanted to be looked after. In previous relationships she had been the dominant person, the male and in charge until now. She wanted her Jeffrey to look after her. But he was at the pub. She slowly pulled herself to her feet. She winced as she felt the bruise that had started to form on her shin. She walked up the stairs and back into Jeff's room flopping down onto his bed, snuggling down again in it's safe warmth. Dixie felt her eyes flutter shut before submitting to restless sleep.

Jeff had been sitting in the warmth of the pub for half an hour before completely going out of his mind. It was so boring without Dixie's loud and brash voice cheering everyone up or arguing with Louise or her over the top cheer and her rubbish dancing to go with it. The worst thing was after everyone had asked where she was they had completely forgotten about her. But not Jeff. He should have insisted on going with her and had film and cuddles. He looked at his watch. It said that it was 6:45pm. Maybe if he hurried they could still have a film. Jeff got up to leave.

"Where you off to Jeff?" Louise asked.

"Going home to Dixie." he answered pulling on his coat. Louise pulled a face.

"Don't worry about her, from what you say she'll just bite your head off. Stay here Jeff." he looked at her angrily.

"What do you mean bite my head off?"

"Well you always say that she's moody and will bite your head off. To be honest I totally agree with you." Jeff glared at Louise.

"I don't do I Linda?" Linda looked around awkwardly.

"Well Jeff you do say that but Dixie's lovely, it's just because you're her husband." Louise sniggered.

"What is so funny now eh? Another of your immature jokes? I'm tired of you always picking on Dixie Louise, leave her alone!" Big Mac looked annoyed now.

"Eh, I understand that was uncalled for Louise but calm down Jeff."

"Wait, does everyone know?" Norman cut in. Aoife took a sip of her drink before asking,

"I don't get what's so funny Louise? He's her husband, of course he cares." Louise laughed.

"Do you not know?! They're not a proper couple, Dixie's a lesbian!" the group silenced, listening in to the heated argument. Aoife was shocked. She didn't say anything more on the subject. Jeff was seething.

"Leave her alone! You don't know a thing!"

"Don't I? You don't love each other, you're mates and nothing more." Jeff walked out and slammed the door sprinting to the car. Tonight had been a big mistake. He should have gone with Dixie. Louise was wrong, to him they where more than just mates. Dixie didn't know that though and never would. He didn't care; he would just be with her whenever she wanted and anything she wanted he would give her. He stopped at a garage to get petrol and a chocolate bar for Dixie. As soon as he pulled in the drive he got out, slamming and locking the car door, running to the door fumbling with the lock and falling through the door.

Strange, the phone was on the floor. He picked it up and put it in the cradle.

"Dix?" No answer. Jeff walked through the kitchen and living room but Dixie was nowhere to be seen. He jogged up the stairs and into her bedroom, which also was empty. He checked in the bathroom and finally just to be sure he went into his room. Someone was in his bed. Jeff tiptoed right up to the edge of it and grasped the corner of the duvet bracing himself. He threw back the covers only to be thwacked by a pillow and deafened by an ear-piercing scream. His attacker backed into the corner of the room crying hiding behind his pillow.

"Dixie!" She looked up at him with tears running down her face struggling for breath because of her violent crying. Jeff knelt down in front of her.

"Wh-what happened princess? Are you hurt?" she shook her head. She tried to speak through the tears.

"Th-th-thought… you gon kill… m-me." she stuttered.

"Oh Dixie come here…" He held her in her arms but she just began crying harder.

"Why were you in my bed anyway princess?" She just looked up at him whimpering.

"What has happened? This can't all be from the shock."

"D-Don't want to talk 'bout it Jeffrey. N-not yet." Jeff didn't understand.

"At least tell me why you were in my bed sweetheart."

"Safe. Safe w-with Jeffrey. I am not a failure to you. The rest of the world hates me." She began crying into his shoulder again. She was freezing, the heating hadn't turned on yet and it was an unusually cold day.

"Who said you are a failure, you are not and never will be Dixie."

"Wuv you."

"Wuv you too. Look, it's cold here come downstairs and I'll make you some tea."

She shook her head in his shoulder. Jeff sighed.

"At least come back into my bed sweetie where it's warm and apparently safe?" she nodded and Jeff stood up. Dixie remained sitting hugging her knees.

"Look after m-me Jeff. Please?"

"Always." She stood up and slid back under the covers were Jeff joined her taking her in his arms.

"I'll always look after you Dixie." he mumbled into her hair. Dixie sighed contentedly listening to Jeff's steady heartbeat.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jeff opened his eyes to sunlight streaming through his bedroom curtains. He ran through last night's events in his head. He had come home to a crying Dixie, who had been scared that he was a murderer and told that he was safe. Dixie was a mess; she had leapt eagerly into his arms and snuggled down onto his chest still sobbing lightly. He had muttered calming words to her and held her close stroking her hair all through the night. When he was sure she was asleep he had finally submitted himself and both of them had slept until the early hours of the morning until he felt her stirring and mumbling against his chest.

"_Mmph… no, no, no." she kept muttering these words gripping his t-shirt and shifting around restlessly._

"_Dix? Princess wake up!" she didn't she just kept stirring and mumbling. Jeff watched inquisitively and she paused for a moment before whispering,_

"_It wasn't my fault, I-I… please forgive me." Forgive her? Who was she asking for forgiveness? _

"_I didn't know… mmph, please don't go. Wasn't my… please!" she started thrashing around wildly._

"_JEFF! JEFF PLEASE!" she screamed and tears started pouring down her face._

"_Princess, Dixie! I'm here sweetie; I'm not going anywhere! Wake up!" she sat up suddenly gasping for breath. Her eyes wide with fear, fresh and hot tears streaking her face. Jeff sat up and took her into his arms and she cried into his shoulder._

"_It's ok sweetie I'm here. Don't be scared. Shh…" the room was pitch black apart from a slither of moon peeking through the curtains illuminating Dixie's face. _Her beautiful face. _Jeff thought to himself. Time seemed suspended in the quiet bedroom with Jeff holding his wife. She wriggled onto his lap and gripped his t-shirt tightly, sniffling quietly._

"_I'm sorry baby." She said. Jeff didn't reply and after a while Dixie's grip loosened and her breathing gave it away, she was sleeping. Jeff slowly lay back and pulled the duvet over her cold body. She lay on top of Jeff with her head resting at the base of his neck. He soon fell to sleep with questions racing around in his mind._

He now wondered what she had meant by baby, was she talking about him? She had never called him that before and Jeff didn't think she would do. He needed to ask her when she awoke. Jeff was scared. He had left her for fifteen minutes and then she was crying hysterically and having night terrors. This was so unlike Dixie that he knew something was wrong and was determined to find out what it was and get the old Dixie back again.

Dixie rolled onto her back stretching. She yawned and looked over at Jeff and his worried expression.

"Alright Jeff? Sleep well?" he nodded vaguely, what had happened to her? She seemed perfectly fine.

"Dix, about yesterday. What happened?" a shadow crossed her features and she looked away.

"Just stuff but I'm okay now. Thanks mate."

"Dixie that wasn't just stuff, that was you crying and having night terrors. You're scaring me sweetie. You are my best mate so you're going to tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong Jeff, I had a rough day and I had a nightmare. Like any normal person does on the odd occasion. Seriously. Let's just go to work." She sat up and threw back the covers. She sighed; she was still fully dressed from yesterday. She swung her legs over the side f her bed, stretching again and getting up to leave.

"Who's baby?" Jeff asked. Dixie hesitated and without turning to face him answered.

"I can't remember Jeff. Go and make us a cup of tea please mate." And without further hesitation she walked out of the room hiding her tears from Jeff.

Dixie locked herself in the bathroom stifling her crying behind her hand. She could remember the dream so vividly.

_Darkness then she was in her room watching herself with Jeff over a cot. The room had a warm glow about it and it made her feel safe. Jeff was cuddling her from behind and she was gazing down at a small infant. They were frozen but she could hear the baby's soft gurgling and see it's slow and clumsy movements. She smiled and moved closer and the baby looked at her. It was perfect with big deep blue eyes with specks of hazel rimming the pupil. Just like hers. It had a perfectly rounded head with rosy plump cheeks and a wide smile and little hands with tiny fingers. The child couldn't be more than 3 months old. She reached down and took its hand in hers. She gasped as she could feel the softness of its hands and could see the tiny fingernails that were perfectly shaped. It was dressed in white clothing but she could tell by the decorations of the room that it was a boy. She looked up at her own face. She was glowing and she was smiling lovingly at the child. A tear slid down Dixie's face. Then, herself and Jeff where gone. The warm glow was gone. The cot was gone and it was just herself and the infant. It started to cry, it's raw shrieks filling the empty space around them. She tried to move towards it and pick it up, to comfort it. But she couldn't move. The baby aged rapidly and a small blonde headed five year old sat before her, staring. He spoke._

"_Mummy?" another tear fell down her face. She answered._

"_Yes." The boy looked confused._

"_This is a dream." He said. His voice was so young and so beautiful._

"_I don't want it to be."_

"_But it is. I'm not real because of you." he got up and turned away, walking into the darkness._

"_No, no, no. It wasn't my fault, I-I… please forgive me!" the child showed no recognition of her. He just carried on walking. She shouted and fought against her restraints._

"_I didn't know! Please don't go! Wasn't my… please!" she was suddenly set free and she fell to the floor before her. Her father appeared stood infront of her._

"_You're a disappointment Kathleen. You're one of them." She shook her head. He disappeared. Her mother took his place._

"_I'm dead because of you, you have failed me. All those years we missed together. All those years I missed out on. Your fault." Dixie curled into a ball sobbing. Cyd appeared. Cyd. She knelt down infront of Dixie. _

"_Hello Dixie." her voice was the same as it had always been. Soft and gentle._

"_I live far away from you now. I have a husband. I have forgotten about you. I didn't have to try. You just…disappeared." Dixie closed her eyes whimpering. She drew her arms tightly around herself._

"_Dix?" no, not him. _

"_Dixie look at me." she opened her eyes gazing into the light green of Jeff's. _

"_I'm alone living with you. I love you but you hide yourself from your feelings. Why? Because of Cyd. Have you ever truly let yourself be loved again? I can do better than Cyd ever could and you know it. I'm a man but we are too close. Too close to be friends or best friends. Men and women cannot be just friends. Not forever. Goodbye." He got up and walked away into the black. Dixie found her voice again._

"_JEFF! JEFF PLEASE!" She woke sobbing into Jeff's arms._

Dixie lent against the sink breathing slowly. She was scared and unsure about what the dream had meant. Jeff had said he loved her. It had stirred something inside of her and it terrified her. But it was just a dream so she decided to ignore it. She undressed and got in the shower letting the tepid water wash down her body and the hot steam clear her mind. She didn't know what had come over her yesterday; she had felt vulnerable and alone. She was alone. These weird feelings would get in the way of hers and Jeff's relationship. _Friendship_. She corrected herself. She was Kathleen Dixon and she didn't need anyone else. The child from her dream had been right. It was her fault. She was in danger of hurting those close to her, people like Jeff. She couldn't bare to hurt him. It didn't matter about anyone else just him. Dixie shut off the water and got out of the shower wrapping the towel around her. She made a mental note to herself: Don't hurt Jeff. Don't tell him, don't let him see or know. Then everything will be okay.

Five minutes later she walked downstairs and into the kitchen. To her surprise breakfast was on the table in her place ready for her. A tulip sat in a vase in the middle of the table and Jeff was sat opposite grinning goofily. He got up and ushered her into the room sitting her down on her chair and pushing her in. she looked down at her plate. Bacon, eggs, sausage and tomatoes all sat on the plate. The smell was amazing and it was her favourite meal. Jeff was still grinning madly.

"I hope you like it Dix. I also put out the bins, unloaded the washing up and put the washing on the line to dry. She looked out of the opposite window and sure enough the washing was out, swaying gently in the breeze.

"Thanks Jeff." She gave him a weak smile before tucking into her meal. She looked up halfway through to see Jeff staring at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Have I got a mucky face?" he shook his head and stabbed some bacon on his fork relishing the taste.

"Just checking you're okay."

"By staring at me?" he shrugged his shoulders.

"When are you going to tell me what happened yesterday then?" Dixie put her fork down.

"So the food and helping me out was just to soften me?"

"No Dixie! I was hungry and thought I'd make us some half decent grub other than healthy cereal. The helping was because maybe you where right."

"About what? Everything, I know!" Jeff rolled his eyes.

"No, that maybe I am a typical man and it's not fair on you. So, this is the improved Jeff, the one that helps you with things and is your protector."

"I don't need a protector Jeff. You don't have to change either. I like you the way you are."

"Well why do you complain so much about me then?"

"Because you're my mate and husband, that's what a wife is for isn't it? To moan at you."

"In more ways then one."

"Jeffrey! This isn't conventional!"

"Exactly! So don't moan at me then." Dixie looked at Jeff before dissolving into laughter.

"God, listen to us!" Jeff chuckled along too.

"But anyway Dix, I just thought that really we don't spend so much time alone together. We are either at work or at the pub with the others. So, I thought that maybe tonight we could go out for dinner after work? A little bit of quality Dixie and Jeff time?" Dixie smirked.

"Yeah, to soften me up so you can ask me what's wrong again. Here Dixie, let me take you out for dinner and treat you like a princess and get you drunk. Maybe then you'll open up to me poor Jeffrey who hasn't got a clue!" Jeff looked hurt and put his knife and fork down.

"I'm just being nice, but if you'd prefer me not to you should of just said. That was uncalled for Kathleen Collier."

"Dixon Jeffrey, get it right." She stood up and went to exit through the kitchen door.

"No." Jeff stood up and blocked the door.

"You're not leaving till we've sorted this."

"Jeff doesn't be stupid we'll be late for work."

"Then start talking." Dixie sat down.

"Fine, we'll be in here for a long time then." Jeff sat down too and looked over at her.

"Thought I was your best friend and that we tell each other everything."

"Well that's a lie isn't it Jeff. There's a lot you haven't told me."

"Like what?" she looked at him but decided not to bring up the dream and what he had said in it. Silence hung in the small room. Jeff started tracing the pattern of the wood on the table.

"What happened yesterday Dixie?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You know what I mean Dixie, how could you not. The crying, the hiding in my bedroom and the dream." Dixie remained silent.

"Why was the phone on the floor?" Dixie looked up at him.

"I'd rather hear it from you but if I must I can check who last called."

"Well that's trusting."

"I'm worried about you Dixie so one way or another I will find out. Because you're my best mate, the best I have ever had."

"And it's the same with you."

"If it was then you would have told me by now. Tell me or I check." She sighed. She was going against everything she had said. But if she didn't she risked losing him.

"It was the… doctors." Jeff's eyes widened.

"What, why? Are you okay?" she hesitated.

"Been better but I'm not going to die Jeff." He still looked shocked and scared.

"Well then what is wrong?"

"Jeff, I've told you who it was now hurry up or we'll be late for work." He decided not to push further.

"For now Dix. But later we are sitting down to talk about this." He got up to go.

"And Dix." She turned to face him.

"What?"

"Wuv you!" a smile broke out on her face.

"Wuv you too Jeffrey!"

"Give us some cuddles cutesey pie!" she shook her head despairingly and turned around.

"Pwease? I'll cry if Dixie bear doesn't!"

"Dixie bear?"

"They'll get worse if you don't my pink-fluffy-girly-bunny-baby!" she couldn't keep a straight face any more so burst out laughing. Jeff held his arms out towards her.

"Cuddles from Kathleen Collier requested. Oh no, I got it wrong did I Kathleen DIXON!" Dixie sighed and got up.

"Cuddles from Kathleen COLLIER coming for Jeffrey the puddle duck Collier."

"Puddle duck?"

"Yeah." She nestled into his arms sighing contentedly. He kissed her head resting his chin on the top of her head.

"Whatever is the matter Dixie, talk to me and we can work through this together okay?" she hesitated.

"Okay. Only because it's you Jeff. No one else ever." Jeff smiled.

"I'll go get ready then sweetie."

"Oh and Jeff?"

"Yeah."

"If you ever call me pink, fluffy or girly ever again you will regret it."

"Okay, what about bunny baby?" she shot him a warning look raising her eyebrow at him.

"Fine…" he said walking out of the room smiling to himself. Dixie didn't feel alone anymore.

After work Jeff stood outside the ambulance bay waiting for Dixie to come outside. Again he had been watching her carefully whilst at work. It had been a relatively calm day, nothing drastic had happened and Dixie was almost back to her normal self. But Jeff being her best friend new better, he could easily spot the hurt and fear in her deep blue eyes. He saw her walking over to him so waved. She waved back. He noted her hands were in her pockets but she wasn't hunched over so he took that as a good sign.

"Hiya sweetie! Ready?"

"Yup." She looked behind him and waved. Jeff turned around to see some doctors and nurses from the ED walking over.

"Coming to the pub then?" Noel asked.

"No, going home. Have a nice time guys!" Jeff answered sliding into the drivers seat.

"Dix?" Linda asked. Dixie shrugged her shoulders.

"Sorry guys, got things to talk over with Jeffrey."

"Feeling better Dix?" she thought about this for a second.

"A little." She answered before joining Jeff in the car.

**A/N- so there you go! BTW, italics are flashbacks! I hope you enjoyed and as always please review if you have some time as I enjoy the feedback and comments! X **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

An hour later, Dixie and Jeff were sat at home on the sofa eating their meal. They had said nothing so far on the day before; Dixie suspected Jeff wasn't trying to push her and was waiting for her to say something on the matter. She was grateful for this but was still dreading the conversation. What was she meant to tell him? Everything or nothing? She had made a pact with herself not to tell him but already she had broken that promise. Should she just tell him? They had been through so much together that really she shouldn't have to even consider confiding in him at all. But something was holding her back making it difficult to decide. She knew she had to tell him something or he'd worry. Would it hurt him to know the truth? When he knew it was all her fault would he still love her and want to be with her? _God, it sounds as if we're properly a couple_. She thought to herself. _But, we are not._ She reminded herself. She chewed on her food thoughtfully. Jeff was watching from his seat beside her. He had long ago lost interest in the mindless television in the background and in his food. He was watching her every expression and emotion in her eyes. He was set on not missing a thing. She was currently expressionless and had been for the last 5 minutes. But deep in her eyes he could see that she was in turmoil. But over what? He had tried to give her the space and time to open up to him but after what had seemed like a year had said nothing. Jeff sighed and turned to his now cold food. Dixie got up off of the sofa.

"Wait, where are you going?" Jeff asked.

"To the kitchen to do this thing called washing up. I know this may be a foreign concept to you but it doesn't just magically do it all by itself." Jeff rolled his eyes and stood up taking her plate from her.

"I knew that, let me." Dixie looked at him skeptically before returning to sit infront of the TV. Jeff rushed the washing up as quickly and quietly as he could, splashing the water around and placing the plates, knives, forks and mugs on the draining board afterwards. He dried his hands and speed-walked back to the sofa, sitting down and again watching Dixie intently. She looked up.

"What are you staring at?" Jeff looked away quickly.

"Nothing." He mumbled. Dixie sighed, knowing what he wanted.

"I don't know what you want me to say Jeff."

"What happened yesterday?"

"I had a rough day."

"Why? What did the doctor have to do with it?" he hesitated.

"Dixie, you're scaring me." Dixie saw the hurt in his eyes. She was just confusing him. Not telling him wasn't helping it was making it worse.

"It's nothing big really. I just…" she sighed. She had to tell him.

"I can't have kids anymore Jeff." Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence. Silence hung in the room as the news sunk in.

"Why?" was all he was able to say.

"My body has just… stopped working I guess." She looked over at Jeff's shocked expression.

"Look, I'm sorry Jeff I-"

"Why are you apologizing to me? You have done nothing wrong. I am sorry babe."

"But, I failed you. I failed my babies. I should ha-"

"Should have what? Dixie honestly you couldn't have done anything sweetheart. Come here." He pulled her into a hug, resting her head on his chest. Tears started rolling down Dixie's face.

"I don't understand. Jeff, it's my fault."

"No, no it's not. Shh, it's ok…" Dixie was confused. He should hate her but he was comforting her and telling her it wasn't her fault. She cried into his chest in confusion, relief and because of the empty throb inside of her. They sat there like this for what seemed like an age before Jeff broke the long silence.

"Was that what the dream was about?" Dixie nodded against his chest.

"Want to tell me about it?" she shook her head.

"Ok sweetheart, do you want to have an early night? Get some sleep?" she looked up.

"Only if you stay with me Jeff. Please. I don't want to be alone." Jeff looked down at her tear-streaked face. He could never say no to his Dixie.

"Of course sweetie. Whatever you want." He stood and helped her up. She put an arm around his waist, leaning into him as they walked up the stairs. Jeff left Dixie in the bathroom to go and get changed. He walked back out into the hallway to see Dixie coming out of the bathroom.

"Your room or mine Dixie?"

"Yours, I'm just going to get changed. I'll be one minute."

A few minutes later and Dixie knocked on Jeff's door. He looked up and chuckled at Dixie's head peeping around the door.

"Can I come in?" she said. He could barely hear her voice.

"Yes Dixie, come in." She walked in and stood twiddling her thumbs by the side of the bed. Jeff slid under the covers.

"Coming in then?" she hesitated.

"Maybe this was a mistake. I'm sorry I'll just go back to my room." She turned to leave.

"Dix, wait. Stay. Please?" she turned to him before nodding slowly. Jeff pulled back the covers and let Dixie get into the bed. She snuggled into him as he wrapped his arms around her. They laid there for a minute before Jeff heard Dixie sniffling.

"Jeff, I'm scared." She whimpered.

"What of? I'll protect you." he said.

"The dream, what if it comes back? I was scared. I still am."

"If it comes back, which it won't, I'll be here waiting for you when you wake up. Always. Remember that no matter what happens, I'll always be here. Just for you. I'm so proud of you for today. It must have been difficult for you to tell me that. I'm so proud of you. Ok?" she nodded.

"Love you Jeff."

"Love you too."

**A/N- hi! I hope you enjoyed that. I haven't updated for a while but I have been ill and it's just been crazy lately! Sorry! I hope to update again really soon! Please review if you have time!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"No, no. Go a-away." Dixie was again mumbling in her sleep. Jeff was sitting trying to wake her up. He was worried about her. How could he not? She was tossing and turning, thrashing wildly about crying and sometimes even screaming. He had said he would protect her but he couldn't even wake her. What kind of person was he?

"Dix? Dixie wake up sweetheart. Please. I need you to wake up!"

"No, I want Jeffrey. Jeff! Leave me alone please!"

"Dix, I don't understand! I am here!" Tears fell down her face rapidly, her face no longer peaceful in sleep but her beautiful features were scared, her eyes remaining firmly shut.

"My beautiful baby boy. Do-don't leave me. I'M SORRY!" she started screaming and hitting out, clasped fists flying. Jeff tried to pin her arms down but her legs kicked about wildly. He shook her shoulders but nothing worked, she would not wake. Jeff just sat and pulled her up into his arms cradling her close. A tear slid down his face, he hated seeing her like this. He just wanted her to be ok again. He just wished he could rewind back to where everything was ok but, he knew that it wouldn't and just hoped they could make it through this together until everything was back to normal. Slowly, Dixie stopped thrashing around but started to breath quicker and quicker.

"Humph, no. Jeff. Jeff. Jeff…" she took a gasping breath between each word like she was drowning.

"Dixie, Dix. KATHLEEN WAKE UP!" Jeff was scared probably more than he ever had been. He laid her down onto the bed and finally, she opened her eyes.

"Jeff?" Jeff broke down simply holding her close burying his face deep into her hair quietly whispering calming words into her ear. Dixie started to cry again quietly.

"What's happening to me?" she whimpered.

"Nothing, nothing babe. I'm just glad you're ok." He got up and rearranged the covers around her tucking them up to her chin. He climbed back into the bed wrapping her in his arms.

"It's ok, everything is going to be ok."

After that, the morning came quickly. Dixie stretched and hummed in comfort. She was warm and contented lying there with Jeff, she almost felt complete. The dream had happened again, but it was less harsh although each dream was a stab in her stomach. She had tried to fight her dream off but couldn't. She couldn't help it. She decided that lying around wasn't going to help anything so got up to have a shower. Afterwards she went downstairs to make some breakfast. She opened the fridge but at the look of all the food she recoiled, shutting the door having lost her appetite. She sat down heavily at the table head in hands images from her dream playing through her head.

"_You're not good enough for him Dixie. Go curl up in a corner and never come back."_

"_I-I'm sorry…"_

"_No, you're not. Get out of my sight. You are a piece of dirt." _ Dixie whimpered again into the empty room. Suddenly everything was too small, the walls started closing in around her. A sharp pounding appeared at the back of her head. She needed to get out. She jumped up from the table running to the door grabbing her coat and slamming the door behind her. She gasped in the fresh, cold air as she briskly walked away from the house. Relief flooded through her being out of the house. She had no clue where she was going, Dixie didn't care. She just needed to sort her head out, stretch her legs. She halted considering Jeff, alone at the house probably worrying about her. She hesitated. Dixie swiveled round on her feet turning back just as she always would for Jeff, she knew that for certain.

She walked back up to the house, knocking on the door as she had shut herself out. Jeff opened the door.

"Dix?" She threw her arms around him.

"Come walk with me." She pulled his hand roughly.

"Wait! Let me get my keys and a coat first." Looking confused, he grabbed his coat and keys before shutting the door firmly behind him. Dixie linked arms with him. They walked in silence for a while before Jeff broke it. He needed answers.

"Dixie, be honest with me. The dreams, am I right? Are they about everything with the doctors?" he stopped turning her to face him holding her hand. He tilted her head so she was looking into his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- Hello! Sorry for again not updating as quickly as I would have liked but again, it has been crazy! o.O It's a short but sweet update and I hope it is enjoyed! Please review if you have the time! X

Chapter 5

Dixie looked into Jeff's eyes. She was in turmoil over what to do. She couldn't decide what she needed to do, it wasn't fair.

"What's stopping you telling me? Why can't you?" she shrugged her shoulders.

"I know it's hard for you Dixie, it's not going to be easy for you but I want to help. Please?" Dixie shuffled her feet slightly.

"You don't deserve me Jeff. I'm a horrible person; I killed my babies. You don't want to know a person like me." She began to walk down the street again. Jeff called after her,

"Dix, it's not your fault! Don't feel guilty over something you haven't even done!" She didn't turn back; she walked for what felt like miles. Jeff followed her but she blocked him out keeping hunched over and speed walking away from him. She faintly heard him shout at her but she knew it was for the best. Jeff was her friend and she didn't want to hurt him. He was being so nice to her. Was he pretending? Or was he telling the truth? She knew Jeff and he wouldn't lie to her. He couldn't lie to her really. They didn't have secrets. _But isn't that what this is? A secret?_ She asked herself. After a while she blocked out all sight and sound, walking along in a numb trance. She just followed where her feet were taking her and didn't question it. She saw her feet going across the familiar route to the ED. She heard the sirens and stood before the hospital finally taking in her surroundings.

A man limped out of the entrance looking behind him at Tom who was chasing after him.

"STOP!" he shouted. The man carried on towards Dixie and pushed past her into the middle of the road. She looked behind her. Jeff came around the corner.

"DIX! COME BACK!" he had obviously been following her. A taxi pulled up next to her. It unloaded its passenger and turned to the road. The man with the limp had stopped now grinning. Suddenly his body shook violently and he collapsed in the middle of the road. Jeff ran over to him. The traffic behind them stopped, blaring horns crying out. She heard an ear-piercing screech as an ambulance swerved to miss the man and Jeff. The last thing Dixie saw was the ambulance tipping, its lights flashing, heading straight towards her. The last thing Dixie felt was a blow to her stomach as she was thrown back against a wall.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_A man limped out of the entrance looking behind him at Tom who was chasing after him._

"_STOP!" he shouted. The man carried on towards Dixie and pushed past her into the middle of the road. She looked behind her. Jeff came around the corner._

"_DIX! COME BACK!" he had obviously been following her. A taxi pulled up next to her. It unloaded its passenger and turned to the road. The man with the limp had stopped now grinning. Suddenly his body shook violently and he collapsed in the middle of the road. Jeff ran over to him. The traffic behind them stopped, blaring horns crying out. She heard an ear-piercing screech as an ambulance swerved to miss the man and Jeff. The last thing Dixie saw was the ambulance tipping, its lights flashing, heading straight towards her. The last thing Dixie felt was a blow to her stomach as she was thrown back against a wall._

"DIXIE!" Jeff screamed. Tom deliberated before hesitantly going to tend the man in the middle of the road. The ambulance had overturned on its side, the cab was crushed against the wall and the back was diagonally facing the ED entrance. There was a small gap near the end of the ambulance and Jeff ran around bracing himself for the shock.

_Dixie heard an ear-piercing screech as an ambulance swerved to miss the man and Jeff. The last thing she saw was the ambulance tipping, its lights flashing, heading straight towards her. The last thing Dixie felt was a blow to her stomach as she was thrown back against a wall. Dixie was winded as she was thrust against the wall then pushed down to the floor and shielded. The ambulance crashed into the wall the cab windows shattering into a million tiny pieces. _

"_DIXIE!" Her shield uncurled herself from around Dixie._

"_Are you alright?" She asked. Dixie nodded numbly at the teenager crouched before her. She stared in horror at how close the ambulance had come to killing her. The ambulance had left a gap no more than a meter wide creating an arrow shape with the wall of the hospital. _

"_Y-you saved my life." Dixie whimpered. She started to panic feeling her chest tighten struggling to breathe. The girl looked frightened._

"_Are you ok? Are you asthmatic?" Dixie nodded taking short breaths still struggling to breathe. The girl started searching through Dixie's coat pockets._

"Oi! What are you doing?" The girl was pulled away from Dixie by her arm and pushed out of the way by Jeff pushed to the floor.

"Leave her alone!" He turned to Dixie searching through Dixie's pockets himself.

"You're a nutter!" she shouted. Jeff ignored her, pulling out the inhaler shaking it and helping Dixie to take long breaths. Doctors and nurses flooded out of the hospital running to help the paramedics and patients that had been injured.

"SAM! HELP!" Jeff yelled over at the doctor who sprinted over.

"What the hell happened Jeff?" She began to check over Dixie.

"I was coming for Dixie and then this idiot runs out into the road, collapses and nearly gets run over. Then, the ambulance tips over nearly killing Dixie. After that that girl tried to mug her." He said pointing at the crouched figure cradling her hand. Dixie thwacked Jeff's arm.

"Mug her? I was trying to help her get her inhaler! She started having an asthma attack! Then that MAN there pushed me away and now look at my hand!" She showed it to Sam who examined it carefully.

"Ouch. That's going to need stitches. Right, we'll get Dixie in I think. Are you ok to move Dixie." She nodded. Sam looked towards the girl.

"Come with us and I'll get that sorted too."

"Ok, thank you." Jeff was giving the girl evils.

"Liar." He whispered under his breath as he and Sam helped Dixie up. The teenager shot venomous looks at Jeff as they walked together into the ED.

After being checked over properly, Dixie sat in a cubicle with Jeff. And for the first time, an awkward silence hung in the air. Dixie sat on the bed fiddling with her nails whilst Jeff sat on the end of the bed. He finally broke the silence.

"I thought..." He hesitated taking a deep breath.

"You were... dead" his voice broke. Dixie looked up at him and her features softened. He carried on.

"In that moment, it was like... time stood still. It didn't seem real." He roughly wiped a tear from his cheek.

"All our memories, they are so precious to me. And... I thought we weren't going to make any more together. I didn't think I'd ever get to hear your voice again." He covered his face with his hands quietly crying to himself. Dixie stared at him. He was right, that came so close to happening today and he wouldn't have ever known about her dreams.

"There's still so much I want to tell you Dixie. Things I would never tell anyone else, I can't explain how frightened I was Dixie. Of losing you." Dixie finally spoke up from where she sat.

"I thought we always told each other everything."

"Look who's talking."

"Jeff…" Dixie shuffled over next to him clasping his hands firmly in his.

"I'm sorry, I just can't hurt you."

"It's hurting me because you're not telling me." Dixie sighed and rubbed her temples.

"Everyone I have ever known I have managed to, in some way, fail. I am a failure."

"What? Dixie, you haven't! The only person you are failing is yourself. You keep everything bottled up when I can help. You save lives every day and you don't fail them. You never have or will fail me whatever you do, whenever you do it." Jeff put a hand on her cheek and turned her so she was looking up into his eyes.

"You will **never** fail me." hot tears spilled over her eyes, Jeff pulled her in close whispering soothing words into her ears. She buried her face in his chest as he stroked her hair. The words flowed out of her mouth.

"The dreams, I was so scared, I saw our baby. He… he said that it was my fault he died, Jeff I'm a murderer."

"No, you are not Dixie Collier. You didn't kill them, they just went away."

"Jeffrey I'm not stupid! I should've-"

"Should've what? Dixie, you never had to have children. The boy in your dreams, he never existed."

"Well he never will now will he? It's all my fault." She went back to sobbing into his chest and Jeff sighed.

The girl sat three cubicles down on the bed with Sam who was finishing sorting out her hand.

"So, you weren't mugging Dixie then?"

"Ha! No. I was coming to visit my friend, her name's Lina; she was involved in a car crash yesterday. Seems I got into a bit of trouble instead."

"Lina Wethers?" the girl nodded.

"I treated her mum yesterday."

"Are they all ok?"

"Yes, I can't go into details because of patient confidentiality but they should all make a full recovery." The girl sighed.

"Oh, good. I was really worried." Sam smiled.

"So, you saved Dixie's life."

"I guess. Is that her name? Dixie?"

"Kind of… she'll probably want to thank you. Oh, and the police will want your statement."

"Ok, whatever. Is Dixie ok?"

"Just a bit shaken up, you know you could have got killed by saving her."

"It was worth it I reckon." Sam smiled.

"All done, should I call your parents?"

"No, I'll walk home."

"Ok, I'll be back in a minute. Wait here." The teenager sighed and laid back on the bed fiddling with her bandage as she waited for Sam's return.

Dixie had stopped crying now and was being discharged by Sam.

"I've just sorted out that girl that saved you Dixie."

"Oh good, is she ok?"

"Yeah, fine. I'm actually just about to discharge her."

"Can I see her? I want to thank her."

"Ye-"

"**Thank** her? She almost **mugged** you!"

"No Jeffrey, she was looking for my inhaler! If she was mugging wouldn't I have struggled?"

"You had almost been killed."

"Yeah, if it wasn't for her I'd be **dead**." Awkward silence hung in the air.

"Um, Dix you're free to go."

"Thanks." She got down off the bed.

"Where are you going?" Jeff asked.

"To thank her, and I think you need to apologize."

"Sorry."

"Not to me idiot! To **her**! You made her cut her hand!"

"I was just trying to protect you." He mumbled. Jeff stared at his shoes before her walked off towards reception. Dixie shook her head and followed Sam to find the girl.

Sam pulled back the curtains to the girl.

"Ok, you can go but you need to speak to the police before you leave."

"Ok, thanks." Sam smiled before leaving to tend to her other patients. The girl sat up and stretched, she almost had fallen asleep and her muscles ached. The hard impact she had made on Dixie was now showing. She sighed. _I would've thought she'd been to check I was ok. It's quite rude actually. Oh well, it doesn't matter._ She thought. She stood to leave before a blonde head popped around the curtain. She smiled.

"Dixie I presume?" The woman nodded.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Of course. How are you feeling?"

"Fine thanks, I actually came to check if you are ok?"

"Yeah, just this cut but luckily it's on my non-writing hand."

"Oh yeah, sorry about Jeff. He gets a little protective sometimes." Dixie went to sit on the bed next to the girl.

"Hmm… let me guess. Either husband, partner, fiancée or maybe even boyfriend?"

"Um, husband. Why did you think he's my boyfriend?"

"Well, you're married, you must have dated."

"No, I mean, do you think we look like a couple?" The girl pulled a face making Dixie chuckle.

"Well, yes other wise I wouldn't have guessed so easily." Dixie smiled slightly.

"Thank you, by the way. You saved my life. I owe you one I guess."

"Yes, you probably do. But it's ok, I'm just glad you are ok. How's your husband?"

"Um… fine. Look he is sorry, he just was…"

"Scared to lose you? It's fine, I understand."

"God, I don't even know your name!"

"Levi."

"That's not a real name is it?"

"Neither's Dixie is it?"

"Touché." Levi giggled.

"So, what are you doing in hospital?" Dixie asked.

"Well, I saved this blonde's life then got blamed for almost mugging her resulting in this cut." She said sarcastically.

"Oh funny, really funny. But, **other** than that?"

"Visiting my friend. You?"

"I'm a paramedic."

"Are you in fancy dress?"

"What?"

"Well, you don't look like it." Dixie sniggered.

"Damn, my disguise ruined." They laughed. The curtain was hesitantly pulled back.

"Phew, right one this time." Jeff stood holding some flowers.

"Jeff I presume?"

"Uh, yeah. Um… these are for you. To say thank you and sorry." He held the flowers out.

"Sorry for what Jeffrey?" Dixie asked.

"For… making you cut your hand." He mumbled. Levi sniggered turning to Dixie.

"You so obviously wear the trousers!"

"Oh yes." Dixie laughed. She felt as if a weight had been lifted. Jeff noticed the slight glow that had returned to Dixie's face. He smiled at this. Dixie's stomach grumbled making Levi laugh harder.

"Hungry Dix?" Jeff asked.

"No." she said sarcastically. Jeff looked hurt.

"Aw, poor Jeffrey. I'm sorry." Jeff shook his head at her.

"Should we grab some…" he looked at his watch in shock.

"Late lunch then?" Dixie nodded getting up.

"Um, want to come too Levi?" Jeff asked hesitantly.

"I actually came here for a reason, to see my mate. But maybe I'll catch you up if that's ok?"

"Of course, we'll be at the pub down the road."

"Pub Jeffrey? She's a teenager."

"Well we won't be buying her any alcohol then will we?"

"Look, ok. The pub down the road, I'll be there in a bit." Levi said. Dixie smiled at her.

"See you then."

"Bye." Levi shook her head at their comical banter as they wandered off. She decided to speak to the police first then go and finally find Lina. The police questioned her on what happened. After she gave them the information she turned to a receptionist.

"I'm looking for Lina Wethers. Where can I find her?"

"And you are?" The man asked. It dawned on Levi that she needed to be a relative.

"Her cousin." She answered with ease. The man nodded seeming to believe her.

"The ward on floor 2."

"Thank you." Levi wandered off to find her.

Dixie sat at a table at the pub waiting for Jeff to come back with the drinks. She cast her mind back to what Levi had looked like. She appeared around 14 and was average height with brownish wavy hair down just past her shoulders. Her face was slightly rounded although she wasn't fat and she had light blue eyes that spoke intelligence. She didn't look girly at all although the minimal make-up suggested she did try. She was quite a pretty little thing really. There was something that made Dixie trust her instantly as if she was an old friend. Levi reminded Dixie of her younger self before she had cut and dyed her hair. Jeff came over with drinks and sat down across the table from her.

"Levi seemed nice."

"She did."

"Do you think that's her actual name?"

"No, just like Dixie's not mine."

"Yeah, I guess. Wonder what her real name is?"

"Well you can ask when she comes back."

"If she comes back."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, she's a teenager, what makes you think she'll want to come for lunch with two people 30 odd years older than her?"

"Jeff, you can't judge her on that."

"Why not? She was nice but doesn't mean she likes us." Dixie just sighed.

"How you feeling Dix?"

"Fine really, still feels a bit surreal."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." He hesitated.

"But, actually I was asking about the dreams and everything." Dixie looked at him. A shadow crossed her face.

"Better I've told you now." Jeff smiled reassuringly.

"I'm glad."

"So am I, thank you."

"So, are you going back to your room tonight?"

"Do you want me out?"

"No." He hesitated.

"I liked having someone to cuddle up to." Dixie giggled.

"Aw, getting sentimental in your old age?"

"No, just saying."

"Well, so do I Jeffrey. One more night." He smiled.

"Wuv you Dixie bear." He took a sip of beer.

"Wuv you more Jeffles!" Jeff almost spat it out laughing.

"Jeffles?" They laughed. Jeff noted that Dixie looked much better now; her sparkle had started to come back.

Levi was now sitting at the end of Lina's bed talking and laughing with her friend.

"Cousin?" Lina asked.

"Did you want me to visit or not?" Levi asked.

"I suppose. What took you so long anyways?" Levi sniggered.

"Just saved someone's life, the usual."

"You did what?!"

"This woman almost got killed but I pushed her out of the way! I'm serious! Look at my hand." Lina examined it.

"Yeah right."

"Fine, if you don't trust me."

"You know I do!"

"Anyway, I'm going to have some lunch with her and her husband."

"I thought you were staying here for lunch?"

"Uh, hospital food? Yuck!" Lina laughed.

"I know! Are they nice?"

"Who?"

"The woman you "saved" and her husband?"

"Oh, yeah. They're great!"

"How old are they?"

"About 40 I guess. Why?"

"You're going to hang out with some oldies?"

"Lina, seriously. They're a laugh."

"If you say so…" Levi looked at her watch.

"Better go catch up with them."

"Oh, great. Just leave me here bored out of my mind." Levi grinned picking up her bag and flowers.

"WAIT! Who are the flowers from?"

"The man and woman to say thank you." her face fell.

"There was me actually thinking you managed to find a guy. You're so weird."

"Yeah love you too." Levi waved and turned to go.

"Oh, and I'm glad you're all ok."

"Thanks! Wuv you!"

"Wuv you too!" Levi smiled to herself as she walked out of the hospital. Today had been a good day. Dixie and Jeff seemed really nice and she was really relieved that Lina was ok. She was her best friend, more of a sister than hers had ever been. There was something that drew her to Dixie. She couldn't describe it; there was something that made her trust Dixie. Something that made her feel safe when she was near her. She was looking forward to meeting them again so started to walk slightly faster towards the pub.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- Hello! Well, I know it has been an age since I have updated but hopefully you don't all hate me for that! But, here it is!**

**The phone number involved in this fanfic is NOT real, it is made up! xxx**

Chapter 7

Dixie and Jeff had just finished their drinks when the door swung open. Levi looked around and smiled as she saw them.

"Hi!" She waved walking over.

"Told you so Jeffrey." Dixie whispered. They shuffled up making room for Levi and Jeff stood.

"Right, what we having to eat then? Usual Dix?"

"Yup! Thanks love!"

"Levi?"

"Uh… something veggie for me please. I don't mind as long as it doesn't involve broccoli." Jeff pulled a face.

"You're a veggie?"

"Yup, problem?"

"No, not at all." He said as he walked off. Levi sniggered.

"How was your mate then?"

"Oh yeah she's great, she'll be out tomorrow. She'll be on crutches though, and she'll get out of P.E the lucky thing." Dixie laughed.

"I never could stand it either, what's the point?"

"Exactly!"

"So, apart from saving lives, what are you into?"

"I listen to music, mess around with my mates, shopping. The usual. You?" Dixie had to think about his.

"Well, I don't really get much time off. If I do I normally sleep the day away, watch a movie with Jeff, maybe we go out for dinner."

"Aw, you two sound so romantic. I want to be like that when I'm older." Dixie took a double take at the mention of romantic but didn't correct her. She wanted Levi to like her and so decided she wouldn't.

"Do you get a lot of home work?"

"Yeah but I keep on top of it. Do you get a lot of paperwork?"

"Yeah, I'm duty manager, basically th-"

"The boss?"

"Yeah."

"Thought so." Dixie grinned at her. Jeff came back with two beers and a coke.

"Is coke alright? You didn't ask for anything."

"Yes thank you."

"Food should be about 20 minutes. So, Levi isn't a real name is it?"

"No, but it's miles better than my real name and it goes with my mate's, Lina."

"Lina and Levi? Terrible twosome?"

"Something like that."

"So, what's your real name then?"

"That's classified information." Jeff shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his drink.

"So what school do you go to then?"

Dixie sat back in her chair and listened to the conversation going on infront of her. She reckoned Jeff was jealous, he didn't usually get worked up about new people and he had no reason to dislike Levi. Dixie thought that Levi was funny and impulsive. But, if she hadn't been and hadn't saved her she'd be dead right now. Dixie shivered at the thought. She realized why Jeff was so scared earlier and protective of her around Levi. He didn't save her, Levi did and maybe he felt guilty about it like she felt guilty about her children. It hurt her to think about them but Jeff's words had soothed her worrying a little. She made a note to tell him that when she next got the chance, to reassure him that he was making her better and that she needed him. Maybe then he would feel better about Levi. Dixie really liked Levi, she was nice to be around although sometimes her instant come backs could sometimes get on her nerves. But, she brushed it aside. Her Jeff and Levi sat talking and eating for the next two hours. After Jeff got into a conversation with her he seemed to warm slightly to her, sharing some bad jokes and laughing along at some of Levi's. Dixie felt lighter and happier than she had in days, like she was coming out of a cave breaking into the sunlight. She forgot about the last few days and just had a good time. She wondered where the day had gone, she had woken up with Jeff at around half past ten and remembered looking at the clock in the ED at midday. Being in the ED must have taken around 2 hours and then now it was half past three. The time had simply flown by.

"I should probably go." Levi said. She got up and swung her bag over her shoulder. Dixie stood and held her arms out. Levi gratefully stepped into them. Dixie was warm and although it was a weird thing to say, she smelt safe. Levi breathed in her warmth before reluctantly stepping back. She smiled at Dixie and then at Jeff.

"Thanks for everything." She got her purse out of her bag.

"How much was lunch?"

"What you doing?" Dixie asked.

"Paying you back for lunch." She said.

"No, no you're not." Dixie pushed the money away.

"I owe you my life, I know lunch isn't going to pay you back but it's a start."

"Start?"

"Yeah. If you'll see us again?" Levi nodded.

"I'd like that." Her phone bleeped so she dug into her flimsy, hole-ridden bag then answered it.

"Hello?" She listened for a second then pulled a face sighing.

"Yeah, I'll be home soon. No, I'm walking. Ok… bye." She sighed again before putting her phone back.

"I best be going. Thanks again." Jeff waved at her from his seat. She returned the gesture before reluctantly turning and walking out of the pub. Nobody saw Levi's phone drop out of the bottom of her bag.

"Start? Yeah, if you'll see us again? Dixie? What were you thinking?"

"What, I like her and I think she liked us!"

"And? We see kids every day! You like some of them but you never want to see them again!"

"And, maybe she was different."

"How?" Dixie hesitated before shrugging her shoulders.

"I… don't know. But, I think it would be nice to see her again."

"How? You don't even have her number." Dixie's eyes widened in realization before she ran out of the pub slamming the door behind her. But when she emerged into the harsh cold outside, Levi was nowhere to be seen. Dixie cursed herself, storming back into the pub and slouched back down into her seat. Jeff was pulling a smug face. Dixie glared at him.

"Don't worry Dix, she knows where to find us. But, she's a teenager, she won't."

"What has been with you today? Is the green-eyed monster rearing its head?"

"No it's just-"

"Just what? You've had a problem with Levi all day, you judged her in half a second! You hardly know the girl and you shove her, make her cut her hand, falsely accuse her of mugging me and then have a grudge against her for the rest of the day!

"After everything in the past few days, every SINGLE word you said and I swallowed, I was finally feeling better. Feeling more like a human being but then as soon as Levi comes along, who actually made me feel a whole lot lighter, you turn jealous. Why Jeffrey? I love you and then you throw it all back in my face! I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me, the one person that was ok with who I am and how I look and who I could trust. Stupid Dixie, trusting a man. I thought we were going to work through this together, you said you'd HELP me. Look after me. I felt safe with you." Dixie started to cry, feverishly wiping away the tears. Jeff, for the first time in his life, didn't know what to say.

"I…" was all he could muster. Dixie got up and speed walked out of the pub. She ran all the way back to their house, searching her coat for her keys. _Damn_. She thought. Jeff had them. Jeff was calling her on her mobile. She pressed the red button, repeatedly banging her head against the door in frustration. She sunk to the floor weeping.

Jeff was walking along the high street. He felt guilty yes, still a little jealous, yes and shocked. He hadn't known she felt like that. He didn't know he could make her feel safe, or that she could trust him. He knew he needed to make it up to her and knew just how. He vowed never to betray her trust again.

_Sitting now alone in the pub Jeff sighs and stares at his feet ashamedly; he knows he has screwed up massively. A silver glint catches his eye. He kneels down and picks up a mobile phone. Admittedly an old one that resembled a brick, but he recognizes it as Levi's. _

Jeff stopped and scrolled through the contacts until he reached home. He rang the number up. Nobody answered it so he left a message.

"Um, hi. My name is Jeffrey Collier, I'm a paramedic at Holby City, I have found Levi's phone so if she could call me on 074232 978082 that'd be great. Thanks." He hung up. Hopefully she'd call back on his mobile number and then he could get Levi and Dixie to meet up again. But, he wouldn't tell her so it could be a surprise. She'd like that. But, in the meantime Jeff settled for some chocolate and flowers along with a new bottle of bubble bath. It said it was meant to help you sleep so he thought she'd like the thought. He walked the way home quickly, wanting to get there soon so he could give her his gifts. He opened the garden gate. When it creaked he reminded himself that he needed to fix that. He looked up.

"Dix?" He ran forward towards her. She sitting on the doorstep with her head buried in her hands. She looked up at him with red eyes.

"Just open the door Jeff." Her voice was a whisper. He obliged, turning the key in the lock and offering a hand to help her get up. She ignored it, getting up herself and trudging slowly through the door and up the stairs to her room, slamming the door behind her. Jeff sighed_. I'll make it up to her_. He thought to himself. He took off his shoes and walked through to the kitchen putting the bags down onto the table. He glanced at the clock. Dixie must be freezing; she had sat there on the doorstep for almost an hour. Worried, Jeff walked up the stairs to check if she was warm enough. He knocked on the door. Dixie opened it a crack.

"What?" She whispered.

"I was wondering if you are warm enough Dixie?" She nodded and shut the door. Jeff hung his head in shame. He had left her there for an hour, crying on their doorstep. He didn't believe that she was telling the truth about being warm enough but what could he do if she wouldn't let him help her? He decided to run her a bath and put some of the new bubble bath in it. He went and got the bottle and jogged back up the stairs. He paused before turning the taps on; she wouldn't get in it unless he built some bridges. He knocked on Dixie's door again. No answer.

"Princess? Can I come in?" Still no answer. He opened the door a crack, peeking into the silent room. Dixie had taken off her shoes and put them by the door, had then laid on her back on top of her duvet fully clothed and was now staring at the ceiling in complete silence. Jeff walked in hesitantly.

"Princess?" Dixie remained silent.

"I'm sorry babe, I really am. I'm going to make it up to you." Her eyes never left the ceiling.

"And Levi." He added. He walked over and sat on the end of her bed. The only hint that she was alive was the gradual rise and fall of her chest.

"I-I'm going to run you a bath. I got you some new bubble bath. It's meant to help you sleep." Nothing.

"Dixie, I never knew that you felt safe with me or looked after. I don't know what happened today, I just… I like protecting you and looking after you, I guess I got jealous of Levi. She had done so easily what I have been trying to do. Make you smile. And, if you'll let me, we can still work through this together." She remained emotionless.

"Please princess." Tears threatened to fall so he gave up talking to her and laid down next to her, cuddling into her side.

"Dixie…" he wept into her shoulder. He noticed how cold she was so wrapped his arms around her more tightly. She still didn't move.

"Say something princess, please? For me?" after a moment he continued.

"You're too cold princess, let me run you a bath." He went to go but a hand shot out and grabbed his shirt, pulling him back down onto the bed. Dixie moved slightly, burying her face into his chest. She had said nothing but through the action he knew what to do. Stay. He may not have been completely forgiven yet, but for now laying with her was enough.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N- Hello! Here is another update for you lovely lot! Please review if you have the time! They really brighten my day! Enjoy mes amis! X

Chapter 8

Jeff didn't know how long they had lain there for and he didn't care. He took comfort from his close contact with Dixie, his arms protecting her from the world. He had had a long time to think about what he had done and said, he had been reviewing his life in his head. He was happy with the woman he loved, the strongest most beautiful woman on the Earth. At least to him certainly. He had nothing he had wanted when he was young, but to him he had everything he needed. Yes Dixie may not feel the same about him but he could live with that. He couldn't live without his Dixie though. He knew he'd rather die than be without her. She had bounced into his life brash, loud, confident and she was still the same person. Jeff looked down at Dixie's sleeping form in his arms. Was she still the same person he had first met? In some ways, yes. But, he could now see every emotion that clouded her eyes, the vulnerability that she hid from everyone. No one knew about it but him. Sleep unmasked all her worries, her doubts and features she saw as flaws. She thought she was slightly over weight, every month she would find this new proven diet to follow. She never lasted more than a week. But to Jeff, she was beautifully curvy in all the right places. Many a lonely night he had spent thinking about those curves belonging to him, for him to be able to touch her like that and to stroke and explore each glorious curve delicately, savoring every second. Jeff saw the laugh lines at the corners of her eyes, he loved them but Dixie loathed them with a passion. Jeff sighed. He couldn't make her see what he could.

Dixie stirred in her sleep and stretched, waking up and rubbing her eyes. She made that cute little mumble she did every time she woke up. That little mewl that made her sound like a tiny little kitten. She reluctantly looked up at Jeff, their eyes meeting for a second before darting away.

"Evening sleepy head." She refused to look at him.

"Are you still angry with me?" She started staring at the ceiling again.

"Please can I run you a bath now? Then I'll order some Chinese."

"I'm on a diet." It was the first thing she had said to him in hours.

"What are you talking about?" She looked at him pointedly.

"No Dixie, I refuse to let you. I hate it when you do this. Torturing yourself for nothing! I love you just the way you are."

"I'm a grown adult."

"Yes Dixie, I know. But I hate seeing you do this to yourself. Please." His voice cracked. He was tired of this. It was like trying to reason with a brick wall.

"Whatever."

"No, promise me." Jeff lifted her head so she was looking directly into his eyes. She said nothing until she saw the tears welling up in his eyes.

"It's killing me." He whispered.

"To see you unhappy."

"I promise." It was barely a whisper but he heard it and beamed at her. He drew her back into his arms.

"What about this bath you were promising me?" She was whispering like it hurt her to speak. Her face remained emotionless.

"Of course princess. I go do it now." Jeff went into the bathroom and started running the bath.

Dixie needed time to think. She swiftly walked out of her room and quietly down the corridor and to the door of the airing cupboard. She checked Jeff wasn't looking before slipping inside. It may seem like a childish place to hide but she felt safe and warm. She took deep breaths clutching her arms around herself tightly. Tear dribbled down her cheeks as she tried to compress the sobs that wracked her body relentlessly. She hurt. She hurt so badly like her entire world was being ripped down around her. The dream had come back. Worse. But instead of screaming or thrashing around it terrorized her silently, a masked killer creeping around her mind in the night. She didn't want to let Jeff see her like this. His words had soothed her somewhat like they always did. But that constant doubt lay at the back of her mind waiting for when Jeff wasn't there to comfort her. She bit down on her fist controlling the tears. She needed to be composed before she emerged from her safe hiding place. She swept her hair off of her tear soaked face breathing slowly. She wiped her face with her sleeve before straightening up and silently exiting the airing cupboard.

She went back into her room calling out to Jeff that she was getting undressed.

"Ok! I'll go order Chinese then!"

"Thanks." She peeled off her crumpled clothes staring at her naked form in her mirror. She saw a frail and ageing body. She saw sagging flesh clinging to her frame. She realized after everything Jeff had said that she was probably the only person that hated, no _loathed_, her body. She quickly covered herself up in her dressing gown before going into the bathroom. Steam curled up from the bath, circling up towards the ceiling. She read the label on the bottle of bubble bath Jeff had got her. It was really thoughtful of him. She saw that Jeff had hung her towels on the radiator, he knew her so well. She sunk into the bath gratefully letting the warm seep into her tired body.

Levi returned to the place she had to call home, the great looming building awaiting for her return. She hated it completely. But she had no other choice but to live on the run and after the fifth time being taken back, she had given up that hope. The police seemed just too good for her. She walked towards the door. Its black and peeling paint fluttered to the ground as she opened it. The care home was loud as usual with screaming and shouting children charging around the house. She already had a headache but she tried to block it out. She turned up the stairs before a voice stopped her.

"Levi? A word?" Levi scowled before trudging back down the stairs and into the office. Maggie her care worker sat down at the desk, her chair creaking under her enormous frame.

"A message has been left for you." She played it out all the while her saggy features scowling. Levi decided that she looked like an ugly pug.

"Care to explain?" Levi searched through her bag before realising the message had been true.

"Yeah, I have lost my phone, must've dropped out." Maggie gave her a sceptical look.

"And who is this Jeff?"

"I dunno, maybe he saw me drop it or something?"

"I'll give him a call and see if we can have it collected."

"No! I mean, I'll do it; I should thank him shouldn't I? Decent thing to do isn't it?" Maggie narrowed her eyes before nodding slowly.

"Ok, but I have to supervise you of course."

"Whatever." Levi took the phone and dialled in the number.

Jeff was in the kitchen getting himself a drink when he heard his phone buzz. He went into the living room and sat down on the sofa answering it.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hi is it Jeff?"

"Yep! Hi Levi! You dropped your phone."

"Yeah, I know! Thanks for picking it up for me, it was really nice of you."

"That's ok, look, Dixie's a little annoyed she didn't get your mobile number off of you so is it ok if I give her it so she can call you?"

"Of course, that'd be great! So, when and where can I pick up my phone?"

"Um, what about that nice coffee shop tomorrow?"

"It's a Sunday tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, how about you and Dixie meet up at our house then?"

"Ok, that'd be great. Where?"

"8 Downs road. Know it?"

"Yep, Lina is about a road away from you. So, tomorrow at 2 then?"

"Cool, see you then."

"Bye." The line went dead. Jeff sighed happily; at least he had done something right today.

"Levi, you cannot meet a stranger on your own."

"I'll take Lina, she's out of hospital tomorrow so I'll take her with me then drop her home. We'll be perfectly safe I promise." Maggie looked about to say something more but a yelling child stopped her. Maggie shouted over the noise,

"Whatever just be safe!"

"Yep!" Levi gave her a thumbs up laughing at Maggie's contorted face. She was secretly happy with her… not telling the whole truth. She actually quite wanted to see Dixie again and smiled to herself as she ran up the stairs to her room, shutting the door firmly to block out the chaos that was outside.

Jeff could her Dixie coming down the stairs so plated up her food before grabbing the flowers and going to meet her in the living room. He hid them behind his back before flourishing them infront of her.

"For you, my beautiful Mrs. Collier." He said grinning at her before kissing her gently on the cheek.

"Thanks Jeff." She gave a strained smile.

"Do you not like them?" He asked.

"No, no I love them. Let me put them in some water."

"No, no Mrs. Collier. Tonight I am treating you, go sit down and pick a movie and I'll put them in water." She gave another weak smile before turning around to the sofa. Jeff rushed into the kitchen laying out the plates, some wine and Dixie's bar of chocolate on a tray. He carefully lifted it, slowly edging his way through to the living room. He put the tray down onto the coffee table before standing up.

"Voila!" he said.

"Wow Jeff thanks." Dixie's voice remained toneless. Jeff sighed before dimming the lights and sitting down on the sofa next to Dixie.

"What have you chosen?"

"Nothing, I don't care." Jeff was about to say something but held back, she would brighten up soon.

"Ok, how about…" He dug out _Dirty Dancing_ waving it around excitedly.

"Your favourite Dix! Just this once because I'm nice, we can watch it and I won't complain!" Dixie shrugged before leaning back onto the sofa. Jeff sighed and put the DVD in, giving Dixie a plate as the film loaded.

"Eat up then Kitten."

"Kitten? That's new."

"Yeah, after that little mewl you do when you wake up. It's so cute!" Dixie ignored him and turned to her food, pushing it around her plate before reluctantly putting a small forkful into her mouth. Jeff watched her as she chewed and swallowed heaping up another forkful. She looked hungry and Jeff was glad that she was eating well, it was one thing less for him to worry about.

They finished their food in silence before Jeff quietly stood to take the plates back into the kitchen. When he returned he sat back down on the sofa, putting an arm around Dixie's shoulder. She edged away slightly drawing he knees up to her chest.

"Dix?"

"What?"

"You haven't eaten your chocolate."

"Don't want it."

"Why?" she shrugged her shoulders. Jeff decided not to persist and instead snuggled into her side, putting an arm around her waist.

"Jeff can you stop laying on me." She wriggled out of his grasp and pulled his arm off of her waist.

"I'm not laying all over you!"

"You are too hot."

"You're freezing!"

"Well you are too hot." Dixie looked at Jeff's wounded expression. She turned away tears brimming in her eyes. He had done all of this for her; she didn't feel like she deserved it.

"Why are you being like this? I'm trying to make you happy!"

"I am happy! Don't you see? You make me happy anyway Jeffrey Collier. I don't feel like I deserve this!"

"You do, every bit and more!"

"I don't Jeff! I hurt you by not telling you everything, I hurt you by not speaking to you and I'm hurting you right now! Please, I hate myself for doing this to you!" Jeff looked into her tear-filled eyes.

"You want to stop hurting me?"

"More than anything!"

"Then let me spoil you, let me look after you, that's what I want. For you to stop torturing your body and yourself for stupid reasons. You are beautiful Dixie for god's sake you're the most breath-taking woman I have ever known! Please, no more diets, thinking it is your fault for everything and thinking you killed your children when you didn't. Please just stop pushing me away and let me help." Dixie's lip trembled and she broke down into tears.

"I love you Jeff I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

"Stop it! You are always forgiven no matter what you do! Come here." He took her back into his arms breathing in her scent and kissing her head. They sat there like that for the rest of the film, Dixie being cradled by Jeff sobbing into his tee shirt. The film finished and with it so had Dixie's sobbing.

"Jeff?" She whispered.

"Yeah?" She hesitated letting the silence draw out between them.

"The dream has come back." Jeff drew his arms around Dixie tighter.

"It's ok Dixie, I'm here for you. But I don't understand, you didn't thrash around."

"But it scared me more." She started sobbing again into his chest.

"I'm sorry…" She sobbed.

"Dixie, no." He cupped her tear-streaked face in his hands bringing her to face him.

"Don't you dare try to apologise Dixie. It is going to be ok. Don't apologise anymore, promise me that?" Dixie nodded, tears dribbling down her cheeks.

"Yes, I promise."

"Come on then, let's get you into bed Kitten."

"Jeff?"

"Yes Kitten?"

"Why do you call me Kitten?"

"I told you earlier!"

"I wasn't listening, I'd apologise but you told me not to." Jeff laughed.

"Because of the little mewl you make when you wake up. You sound like a tiny little baby kitten." Dixie giggled quietly. Jeff smiled. It had been the first positive emotion she had shown.

"So you like it then Kitten?"

"Yes but don't call anyone else it, I want it to be my special nickname."

"Of course Kitten." He kissed the tip of her nose.

"Just for you." He looked into her eyes for a while before deciding any longer and it would become awkward.

"Go brush your teeth then Kitten."

"Ok Jeff." She walked up the stairs and Jeff smiled. He grabbed the chocolate off of the table before going up to his room and hiding it under his pillow. He got changed and swapped with Dixie going into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He walked into his bedroom and saw Dixie already snuggled under his duvet waiting for him_. God I love her._ He thought to himself. He got into the bed beside her and allowed her to snuggle into his arms. He slipped the chocolate out from under the pillow.

"In the mood for chocolate now?" She nodded eagerly and a smile flickered at the corner of her lips. Jeff unwrapped the top half of the bar before snapping off a square.

"Open wide Kitten." She did and he fed her a piece, then himself a piece. They carried on until over half of the bar had gone.

"Shall we save this for tomorrow then Kitten?" She nodded feeling mellow before allowing herself to be enclosed in Jeff's arms where she fell into deep sleep. Jeff smiled to himself as he waited for her to succumb; he was so happy with her progress and proud of her too. He couldn't wait for her to have her surprise tomorrow afternoon.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N- Hello! I am SO sorry it has taken me forever to update but here it is. An extra long one for you lovely people! I hope it is enjoyed by all! X**

Chapter 9

Dixie woke up in Jeff's arms. Again. She was confused. Very confused. She had had another dream. But it wasn't scary, oh no. It was just… weird. So weird. She didn't know how to feel.

_It was black. Pitch black and Dixie was standing alone. Jeff coalesced from the black._

"_Hello, my love." He smiled at her warmly. Dixie smiled back._

"_Hello Jeff." He grinned and held out his arms for her. She stepped into them gratefully. _

"_Another dream?"_

"_Yes Jeff."_

"_Don't worry, I'm here. I won't let anything hurt you."_

"_I know." It was weird, she could even smell his all to familiar scent. He evaporated around her. Dixie was alone and scared._

"_Jeff?" she whispered. All of a sudden, colour burst out all around her. She was in her and Jeff's house. She walked into the kitchen. He was in there buttering three slices of toast._

"_Dix, go get Levi up please. Seriously, last time I tried she had a proper go at me."_

"_What?" Dixie asked._

"_Levi. Can you please go get her out of bed?"_

"_Why is she here?"_

"_She lives here. Are you feeling alright?"_

"_No she doesn't."_

"_Yes, she does. She's our foster daughter."_

"_No, Jeffrey. She's not." Jeff turned to face her, a confused look plastered across his face._

"_Is this a joke?" Dixie could feel tears brimming in her eyes again._

"_We don't have any children Jeffrey. This isn't a very nice joke to play on me." Jeff's expression softened._

"_Babe, come here." He opened his arms to her and she again stepped into them, taking comfort from his warmth. Jeff tilted her chin up to him._

"_Dix, that's behind us now. It's ok." Dixie was shocked as Jeff lent down and pressed his lips to hers softly. She made no move to stop him. Jeff drew back._

"_Better?" Dixie found herself nodding. She was completely dazed. It was like time had stood still just her and Jeff connected in that way. She had been left wanting more._

Now Dixie lay in Jeff's arms in the real world. She had pinched herself and checked just to be sure. The weird thing was… Dixie had enjoyed the dream thoroughly. She buried herself further into Jeff's arms, she felt safe there. She decided to ignore the dream; after all it was just her over-active imagination playing tricks on her. She decided to try and forget the dream, it never happened.

Jeff woke up slowly, wavering between dropping back off to sleep and waking up. He could hear Dixie's quickened breathing and decided to check if she was ok.

"Morning Kitten."

"Morning Jeff."

"Are you ok?"

"Yes love. No nightmares."

"Sure?"

"Definitely."

"Ok, looks like that bubble bath worked then." Jeff snuggled deeper into the duvet, pulling Dixie closer to him.

"Well I'm just going to go back to sleep then."

"Lazy Jeff."

"I don't see you getting up."

"I would however I seem to be enclosed in your arms Jeffrey."

"Oh, well I could let go." Dixie clung tighter to him.

"Please don't let go of me Jeffrey." Jeff opened his eyes fully to see Dixie's face no longer joking. She was completely serious; he could see it in her eyes.

"Don't worry Kitten, I won't. You're like a little hot water bottle at the minute." Dixie smiled and snuggled closer into Jeff's chest, enjoying the safe security his arms gave when they were around her.

"I did have a dream Jeff, but a nice one."

"Oh, that's good. What was it about?"

"Just stuff."

"Last time it was just stuff it was actually quite a lot!"

"Well this time I promise, it was ok."

"Alright, I trust you."

An hour later and they decided to get up. They decided not to go out as they didn't really feel like it after the past few days. It was around one in the afternoon when Jeff struck up a conversation about Levi.

"Are you still annoyed about Levi?"

"Yes." Dixie pulled herself closer to Jeff. They were sat watching TV in the living room.

"I kind of felt bad about being smug, I didn't mean it though. I guess I just liked being center of your attention and thought that Levi would take my place."

"Nobody ever will Jeffrey."

"I know that now. So, I gave her a call-"

"How?" Dixie practically sat on him in excitement.

"Hang on, is this a joke?"

"Of course not Dixie. After everything in the past few days and you still think I'd play a joke on you!"

"But you couldn't have, you don't have her number."

"Her phone dropped out of her bag in the pub and I spotted it, felt bad and so I have a surprise for you!"

"What?!" Dixie was practically jumping up and down; it made Jeff so happy to see her like this.

"Well, she'll have to come and pick it up today and so I asked her if she wanted to stay for a coffee."

"And?" Dixie's eyes were starting to get their sparkle back.

"She's coming a 2 this afternoon." This time Dixie really did jump up and down and planted a sloppy kiss on Jeff's cheek.

"Thank you Jeffrey! I have to go get ready!" She jumped off of him and ran up the stairs. Jeff smiled half-heartedly, he only wished he could have out that smile on her face instead of Levi.

Levi sat at her bedroom desk finishing off her homework. She was bored out of her mind and couldn't wait to go and see Dixie and Jeff. She grimly looked around her tiny bedroom. It had stark white walls and a single poster of her favourite band on it. She had had the chance to decorate but hoped to find a foster family soon so didn't see the point. She just wanted a safe and secure home with two loving parents. She had never had that as a young child and since the age of 8 had been in care. She didn't like it at all but kept her head down and on top of schoolwork. She wanted to be a doctor when she grew up and knew that she'd have to work hard to achieve this. She finished off the worksheet, emphasizing the full stop with a flourish. She sighed and lent back in her seat gazing up at the clock. If she hurried she could pop in to the hospital to see Lina before she went over to Jeff and Dixie's. She had their address etched into her mind and she went over it as she got ready to go.

Jeff smiled at Dixie as she came down in a fresh pair of jeans and her new top. Looking carefully Jeff could see the small amount of make-up she had on and her pretty little smile. But he could still see the shadow that clouded her eyes still there, never leaving.

"You look amazing Kitten."

"You sure I don't look too old?"

"Mature but epic as the kids say." Dixie giggled. She looked at Jeff with eyes that scanned him completely.

"Jeff?" she asked, walking over to him.

"What's wrong?" Jeff didn't want to spoil her mood.

"Nothing Kitten."

"Jeff I can see it in your eyes." She always could.

"We said no more secrets." She said softly.

"Nothing you need to worry about Kitten, I promise." Jeff bopped her on the nose and went to go through to the living room. Dixie stopped him.

"But I am worrying Jeffrey. Tell me…please." She gave him a pleading look and his heart instantly melted.

"I just, I'm glad you're happy." He said.

"But?" Dixie questioned. Jeff tried to look away but Dixie turned his head back around to face her.

"I know there is a but Jeffrey." Jeff looked at his feet ashamedly. Why couldn't he just be happy for her? _Because I want to be the one who makes her smile._ He answered in his head.

"I'm sorry." Jeff whispered.

"Why?"

"Because I can't just be happy for you."

"What? I don't get it."

"I-I want to be…the one who makes you smile." He carried on looking at his feet guiltily.

"Jeff…" Dixie pulled him into a hug tightly.

"You do make me smile, every single day. You are like my personal little ray of sunshine."

"But I couldn't make you smile yesterday, or the day before that. And today, Levi did and she didn't even have to lift a finger." Jeff nuzzled into Dixie's neck, snaking his arms around her waist.

"Levi didn't make me smile today Jeff. You did with your gesture. Not her. Always you. I'm sorry I haven't been grateful at all for everything you have done for me in the past few days. You have made me feel like a human again when nobody else could. I really enjoyed last night just you and me, it was perfect." Jeff smiled into Dixie's shoulder.

The hospital was bustling with life as Levi entered. She saw Lina in the reception with her brothers and sisters and waved.

"Levi!"

"Lina!" she ran over and gave her friend a hug.

"Aw, how are you feeling?"

"Not too bad. How was your evening?"

"Average, I had a great time with Jeff and Dixie though."

"Jeff and who?"

"Dixie, the woman who I saved yesterday."

"You actually went to see them?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm going to go and see them this afternoon too."

"You are so weird, you know that?"

"Yep."

"But, I wouldn't love you if you weren't!" Levi smiled and embraced her friend again.

"Speaking of which, I'm going to go see them now."

"Why didn't you just go straight there?"

"Couldn't miss an opportunity to see you and your totally sexy crutches!" Lina gave her the evils as Levi waved and walked out of the hospital.

Jeff and Dixie were again sitting on the sofa waiting for Levi to arrive.

"Dix?"

"Yeah?"

"You know… the whole not being able to have kids thing?" Jeff was hesitant and chose his words carefully, fiddling with his thumbs in his lap and avoiding Dixie's gaze.

"Yeah." Her voice was quiet and laced with pain and regret.

"Well, I was thinking, what about us maybe… fostering a child instead?" Dixie took a ragged breath before replying.

"I-I don't know Jeff."

"Why not? Talk to me."

"What if… this whole thing was a sign? That I am just not meant to be a mum?"

"Dixie you were born to be a mum."

"Even if that's true, fostering might be different. It might not be the same raising someone else's child." She hesitated.

"And, I like it just being you and me." Jeff looked up and caught Dixie's gaze, loosing himself in her deep blue eyes. He nodded.

"Me too but, maybe it is worth thinking about at least? Mull over it for a few days and then we can maybe sit down and talk about it properly?" Dixie nodded, sweeping a lock of hair behind her ear and hesitantly looked up at him through her eyelashes. _Is she doing that on purpose? Why does she have to be so blissfully unaware?_ He thought to himself. Jeff felt warm lust and desire wash over him. He wanted to hold Dixie close, to reassure her with a loving embrace, kiss her passionately and share intimacy with her. But, he restrained himself. He didn't want to scare her or even worse, end their friendship. He would never hurt her in that way. So, Jeff settled for a reassuring arm around her shoulder in which she leaned into gratefully.

The doorbell rang out in the quiet house and so Dixie stood up and ran to the door. Jeff chuckled to himself as he saw her straightening herself out, flattening her hair and smoothing down her already immaculate top. She took a deep breath before opening the door with a big grin on her face.

"Hi!" Dixie said. Levi and Dixie embraced before letting her in. Jeff waved and stood up off of the sofa.

"Alright?"

"Yeah, great thank you." Jeff grabbed his coat off of the hook by the door.

"I'll be off then Kitten."

"Where?"

"The pub, Noel and Mac are going to meet me there." Dixie's face fell.

"I thought you were staying?"

"I know but I thought I'd leave you ladies to it. Don't worry, I'll be back under your feet before you know it."

"Ok, one thing?"

"Anything for you Kitten."

"Don't come back plastered."

"I promise." Jeff went over to Dixie and kissed her on the cheek, provoking a blush that covered Dixie's cheeks. She giggled and pulled him into a hug. They reluctantly let go of each other and Jeff waved again before heading out of the door, Dixie waving after him. Levi shook her head.

"You too are so cute. When I'm older I want a relationship like that." Dixie smiled before asking if Levi wanted a drink.

"That'd be great thanks."

"Tea, coffee or juice?"

"Juice please. Thank you."

"Take a seat." Levi sat down on the sofa and took in her surroundings. The walls were covered in photos of Dixie, Jeff, their friends and their dog. Levi smiled to herself, they were just too cute. Dixie came back with drinks and sat down opposite her, drawing her legs up to her chest.

"So, how long have you and Jeff been together?"

"3 years now, seems like 3 seconds." Levi smiled.

"You two seem like a couple of teenagers dating, it's so cute." Dixie grinned. She was again deciding to go along with it, she really wanted to make a good impression on Levi.

"So, are you dating at the minute?"

"Nah, no one's come along yet."

"Don't worry, someone will."

"Yeah, Lina is definitely trying at the moment. She keeps sending me on blind dates, setting me up with her friends. Not fun."

"Why don't you just say no?"

"It's a laugh really. I don't mind. So, got kids?" Levi saw a shadow flicker across Dixie's face.

"No, um. Just, um, yeah."

"Oh, well, ok. Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, no, you didn't really. It's just, I… can't." Dixie avoided Levi's gaze, staring at the floor.

"I'm sorry. Have you ever considered fostering?"

"No, I only recently found out."

"Well, my mate is in care. She's lovely really. There are a lot of good kids in care, they're not all druggies or… runaways."

"I know, me and Jeff are considering it. It's just difficult."

"I really admire you and Jeff, it must have been hard to work through but you seemed to have got over it really well. You too must be close."

"We are. Anyway, what school do you go to?"

Jeff wandered back to the house after a couple of hours out. He could hear laughter from within the house. He smiled to himself. He let himself in and walked into the living room. Dixie had tears streaming from her eyes and was doubled over in laughter and Levi was falling off of the sofa laughing.

"Hey crazy ladies."

"H-hi Jeff." Levi took one look at Jeff before bursting out laughing again.

"What?" Jeff looked at Dixie questioningly but she was incoherent from laughing.

"I'm going to get a cup of tea…" He walked off into the kitchen shaking his head. A few minutes later Dixie walked in and gave him a hug.

"S-sorry Jeff, we weren't laughing at you, it was something else."

"What?"

"Nothing. Your back early."

"Yeah." Jeff shrugged his shoulders and hugged Dixie back tightly. He held her until she tried to wiggle out of his embrace.

"Jeff, if you don't mind I'm going back to Levi."

"No, I can't let you."

"Why not?"

"Because I say so." She tried to wriggle out of his grasp again.

"Jeff!" Jeff started to tickle her, squeezing her sides and making her dissolve into fits of laughter.

"J-Jeff stop! I'm begging you! Please stop!"

"Never!" He stopped tickling her and pulled her close again, planting a kiss on her head. He released her and smiled at her.

"Go on then Kitten, have fun." Dixie reached up and kissed him on the cheek, turning and running back into the living room.

"So, what do you want to do for a job when you're older."

"I'm going to be a doctor."

"You seem very sure about that."

"I am. I've wanted to be one since I was eight. It's my dream."

"I think if you work hard then you will achieve it. You are a very intelligent girl."

"Thanks." Levi glanced at the clock and groaned.

"I should go, my folks will be wondering where I am."

"Ok, I had a really nice time Levi, thank you for coming."

"Thanks for inviting me, where's Jeff? I need to thank him." Dixie looked around.

"I'll just go see if he's upstairs."

"Ok, thank you." Dixie jogged up the stairs and knocked on Jeff's door.

"Jeff you in there?"

"Yeah, come in." Dixie opened the door to see Jeff sitting on his bed reading a book.

"You ok love?"

"Yep you?"

"Good but Levi's going and wanted to say thank you."

"Great, I've got her phone here too."

"Come on then handsome." Dixie and Jeff walked down the stairs together. Jeff was relieved that Levi was going, he liked her but still wanted to have some time with Dixie that evening. He wanted to see if he could get more cuddles later on and just wanted it to be him and her. Jeff handed Levi her phone and gave her a smile.

"See you Levi."

"Bye Jeff and thank you for finding my phone and giving me a call. I really enjoyed myself this afternoon." She turned to Dixie.

"We need to meet up again, and soon. Ok?"

"Definitely." Levi turned and left, waving behind her to Jeff and Dixie and turning down the street. Dixie shut the door and turned around to Jeff sighing happily.

"Should I make something for dinner Jeff?"

"If you feel like it, you don't have to if you don't want to. We could get another takeaway?"

"Two takeaways in two days?"

"Yep, make the most of the last day off?" Dixie smiled.

"You know what? Let's do it." Jeff grinned at her.

"Jeff?"

"Yes Kitten?"

"You came home really early from the pub today, and you weren't drunk."

"I promised I wouldn't."

"That's never stopped you before." Jeff chuckled. He and Dixie were sat watching _Miranda_ on the television together. To his disappointment, they were sitting apart on the sofa. He had tried to get her to cuddle up to him by putting his arm behind her but she hadn't noticed it.

"Maybe I'm a changed man."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He avoided Dixie's probing gaze.

"And?" Jeff remained silent.

"Jeffrey tell me, please?" he didn't need to look at her to know she was giving him her wounded puppy eyes that she did too well. She sighed.

"Well at least tell me how the lads were?"

"Um… Fletch and his family were well, Charlie was… good."

"Oh yeah, and how was that flying pig?"

"What? I'm not lying."

"You said you were going with Mac and Noel."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"Ok, so maybe there was nobody going with me. But I wanted to give you ladies some space."

"You didn't need to. We both wanted you to stay. I wanted you to stay. Why didn't you?" Jeff shrugged his shoulders fiddling with a loose thread on the hem of his top. He felt Dixie move closer to him and start to rub soothing circles on him arm.

"Did you miss me when you were gone Jeff? I missed you. A lot." Jeff nodded.

"Hug?" Jeff nodded and allowed himself to be wrapped in Dixie's warm arms. She kissed him on the head.

"You are my best friend. Wuv you."

"Wuv you too Kitten." He nuzzled into Dixie's chest, listening to her steady heartbeat. After their programme finished, Dixie and Jeff stood and embraced.

"Let's go to bed handsome." Jeff nodded. Dixie went into the bathroom and Jeff got changed. When he finished he looked for Dixie but couldn't find her. He went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He had been lonely in the pub. He had also got a few weird looks sitting by himself in the corner of the pub. He was pining for Dixie, her touch and her scent. He felt so miserable. It was like when he was away from her there was a hole in his heart. It hurt. He walked back to his bedroom and his empty bed. He got into it and covered his head with his duvet. He could faintly smell Dixie's scent on his pillow. He missed her being next to him, his bed felt cold and empty without her. He was wallowing in his loneliness when he felt a weight next to him. Dixie got into his bed next to him. In relief he instantly snuggled into her side, burying his head in her neck.

"Alright Jeff?" He simply nodded and fell into deep sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N- Double digits! YAY! This time I have been a good girl and whilst on holiday written the next two chapters and planned ahead! This never usually happen! I was on a roll! I hope everyone enjoys this and there is a quote of Dixie's in here from a previous episode but there is no copyright intended! X**

Chapter 10

Two days later Jeff and Dixie were sitting in their ambulance waiting for a shout.

"Dix?"

"Yeah mate?"

"I've been thinking."

"Oh, you should be careful with that, might frazzle what few brain cells you have."

"Funny."

"I know." She chuckled and gazed out of the window again.

"But, seriously, I was thinking about the fostering thing." She hesitated.

"And?"

"Well, before we make any drastic decisions or plans, how about a holiday?" Dixie considered this for a while.

"Alright, maybe we do need a change of scenery."

"It wouldn't hurt would it?"

"No, where to?"

"Somewhere nice and hot?"

"Not too hot, you know what the heat does to me." Jeff shrugged.

"What about… France? Paris?"

"It's a bit romantic."

"Not really."

"Jeff, it's called the city of love." Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Ok, how about Venice?" Dixie looked like she was considering it. A grin broke out on her face.

"Perfect." She smiled at him before responding to the shout that was coming in on the radio. They had both been more cheerful recently, as if a weight had been lifted. Dixie and Jeff had been sharing a bed every night and never questioned it. Dixie would just come into Jeff's room and slide into his bed next to him. He had no complaints, without her he was lonely. He had no idea if that was why she always came into his room or not. Maybe she got scared by herself, maybe she enjoyed his company. She hadn't had any nightmares recently, just good dreams. At least that was what she said. Sometimes after work she would go and meet Levi in town, sometimes she would come home with him. On the odd occasion they would go to the pub. They tended to do this less recently, preferring to spend their time together. Jeff had noticed that Dixie would cuddle up to him a lot more than she used to. Jeff loved it; he had never asked her why she was suddenly so cuddly. He was afraid that if he did she might take it the wrong way and stop all together and he couldn't bare that. He lived for her, yearned for the hours they would hold each other and the soft beat of her heart against his. After their shout Jeff began to wonder what Dixie would be doing after work.

"Dix?"

"Yeah?" They were sitting in the back of the ambulance eating lunch, rain pattering softly against the windows.

"After work what are you doing?"

"I'm going for a coffee with Zoe."

"Oh, not Levi then?"

"No, she has exams on."

"Any particular reason you're going out?"

"I have things we need to talk about, catching up and stuff."

"Ok, what time will you be home then?"

"I'll be gone about an hour or so probably." Jeff's face fell. He gazed out of the window at the dark rain clouds that were forming in the distance. There was going to be a storm later.

"Well, I'll make some dinner for eight o' clock then."

"That sounds great, I'm looking forward to it." Jeff gave a half-hearted smile.

The rest of the shift went by too quickly for Jeff, all too soon him and Dixie stood outside of the ambulance station to go their different ways. Jeff stood with his hands in his pockets.

"So, be back for eight and I'll make some dinner for us."

"You? Cook?"

"Yeah, I can if you give me the chance."

"I'll take your word for it." Jeff smiled and stepped forward, kissing Dixie gently on the cheek. She smiled and waved before turning towards the ED.

Dixie POV

I walked slowly to the ED, Jeff's kiss still lingering on my cheek. I couldn't help the butterflies in my stomach, anticipation of telling someone my secret and feelings were building up. Zoe is someone I could trust, not like Linda who is a good drinking partner, Louise always up for a good argument or Tess for her pity and sympathy and Sam with her brash but honest opinions. Zoe will help me make sense of this confusion. I walk into the reception of the ED and wave at Noel and Mac, joking around as usual. I spot Zoe talking with Tess on the other side of the ED and wave. She sees me and starts walking over, smiling in her usual way and looking genuinely pleased to see me.

'Hi Dixie!' I smile and fall into step with her. She pulls on her jacket and we emerge out into the late afternoon air.

'Thanks for this Zo, I know you mustn't get much free time being clinical lead. Thanks for coming out with me.'

'It's fine Dix, no one else I'd rather spend my time with.' We wander into Holby's buzzing centre, find a quiet looking coffee shop and a table near the back.

'So how is being clinical lead then?'

'Busy. But I love it, in a strange twisted way.' She grins at me.

'How's operational duty manager working out then. I laugh.

'Oh, you know. Busy. But I love it in a strange, twisted way.' We laugh together. She looks a me properly.

'So, how's Jeff?'

'Fine, amazing really.'

'So what's this about then? You're going to have to give me a clue. I'm not Clair Voyant.' I stir my coffee, letting it distract me.

'Um, I need some advice. Please.'

'What on?'

'How you know if you love a man.' This she apparently wasn't expecting, nearly choking on her drink.

'Wow, uh. Is this a man in particular?' I nod.

'Who?' I remain silent.

'Ok, so. Tell me how you feel about him?' This I can do.

'He makes me feel special and loved, like I am the only person in the world. He looks after me and with him I know I am safe.' I look up at Zoe hesitantly.

'And what about his looks? Do you find him good looking?'

'More so now than I ever have done. Also,' I hesitate, will she believe me?

'I have been having... these really weird dreams lately. In them, me and Jeff live together. As best friends, and lovers.' I exhale deeply, it feels better to have it off of my chest. Zoe looks to be considering something.

'So, how long have you been having these dreams?'

'A week or two.'

'And... do you enjoy them?' I nod reluctantly. I can't pretend I don't anymore because I do. They have been changing, me and Jeff would kiss in the dreams. And sometimes, he takes me by the hand and leads me to our bedroom and each time I go willingly with a grin on my face. That is my secret.

'I've had some stuff going on lately, stuff which thanks to Jeff I'm over now. But, during that time we got into the habit of sharing a bed. And now I don't want to go back to it being just me.'

'Why not?'

'Because...' It sounds silly and childish out loud but Zoe is spurring me on.

'I think... I fancy Jeff.' There! It's out there now.

'I know it sounds childish but...' A grin spreads across Zoe's face.

'It doesn't, it really doesn't.' She leans back in her chair, sipping from her cup.

'So, you need a plan of action.'

'What?'

'What is your next move going to be?'

'Well, nothing! I don't want to ruin our friendship. Why would he want me? He thinks I'm completely lesbian!'

'So, we need to stop him thinking that. Then we can see if he likes you or not.' I sigh.

'What is your plan of action for me?' Zoe grins at me.

'That's my girl.'

Jeff's POV

I walk into the empty house, let little abs into the garden and unpack my shopping. I'm going to make Dixie a dinner that she won't forget. I'm slightly worried though, she has things to talk about? She has probably gone to Zoe for advice. Advice about what? I shrug and finish unpacking. I still have an hour before I need to begin cooking so I decide to take little abs for a walk. As I walk through Holby my mind wanders back to Dixie. I'm tired of pretending I don't love her when I do. I didn't think it would be this hard. Since Dixie's not around I start imagining up different scenarios. Dixie tells me she loves me, I tell Dixie I love her and she loves me too. We become lovers, we kiss, we get married again. I feel better in my imaginary world; I'm looking forward to our holiday too. Maybe it will bring us closer together. I'm still hoping against hopes that she loves me too, I really can't help it. I reach the park and let little abs off of his lead. I sit on the bench and let my mind wander again.

Coming back from the park I take a detour around and to the posh estate. I know Zoe and Sam both live near here. My pocket buzzes. I have a text. I open it.

Sender: Dixie

Time: 6:51PM

Hi! Sorry love but I'm going out with this my friend, Andrew, for dinner now. He's taking me to a posh restaurant at 7 and I don't know what time I'll be back. (If I'll be back today! Lol!) So don't wait up!

Love you, Dix xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My heart has stopped. I feel cold all over. If she'll be back? What does she mean? She wouldn't sleep with a man! I don't remember her ever having a mate called Andrew either. I feel confused but mostly hurt; why couldn't I be the man she first falls in love with? I can feel tears welling up behind my eyes, I should've told her I loved her before this happened. Maybe then she would have loved me. I speed walk down the street, I want to go home, or even better I want to wake from this horrible dream. I walk past Zoe's house and come to a rapid halt. I can hear peals of laughter from down the street. I see a blonde and brown bob turn around the corner and dive down the side street near me. It was Dixie and Zoe. What? Dixie should be having dinner with Andrew or at least getting ready for it. I strain my ears to hear their conversation.

'But I feel bad Zo.' I could hear Dixie's voice carrying down the street.

'And? At least you'll know.'

'I know but...' I could hear Zoe sigh.

'It'll be worth it. And no sleeping in the same bed tonight, you can't let him suspect a thing.'

'But-'

'No buts, come on Dix, once he's nice and jealous you can share a bed again. In more than one way...' I could hear the mockery in Zoe's voice, and almost chuckled to myself, as I knew exactly how Dixie's face would look now.

'What? It was what you said you wanted!' Her voice faded away with their footsteps as they walked away down the street not noticing me. My mind was buzzing, what was I meant to think now? It was obvious that Andrew was non-existent, but not so obvious as to why Dixie would want to make me jealous. And then, it dawned on me.

**Review? Pretty please?**


	11. Chapter 11

A/N- Oh lookie, two updates in one day? Yaaaayyy! X

Chapter 11

Jeff sat at home, waiting for Dixie's return. It was time for them to be honest with each other; he was tired of pretending he wasn't interested. He was and he would tell her that when she got home. The hours went by slowly, and after each hour Jeff could feel his eyes droop that little bit more. His resolve melted, he wasn't sure if he wanted to just tell her like that. Maybe he would wait and make it a magical moment that neither would forget for the rest of their lives. It was a week until their holiday to Venice, he had booked a double bed as they shared anyway, what would be the point of spending money on something that wasn't going to be used? As time ticked by this option became more and more favourable to Jeff. He could definitely make sure she loved him in the final week before their holiday and he could spend time planning for it and make sure it would be a memory for life. He finally persuaded himself to wait and dragged himself to his bedroom, stripping his clothes off and collapsing into a heap on his bed. He missed having his Dixie next to him but drowsily started to plan his romantic declaration of love for her. He fell into a deep and mellow sleep.

Dixie was sat eating take away with Zoe on her plush sofa. She did feel bad but needed to show Jeff that she wasn't a lesbian any more. Or, that she was but loved him anyway. She was confused but didn't care. She knew she loved Jeff, she knew that she thought Jeff was handsome and she knew that she wanted him. She wanted to make her dreams come true. So, Dixie had reluctantly agreed to Zoe's plan. There was no Andrew or a date. Instead she had come to Zoe's house for a take away and girly films. She wasn't really into chick flicks but found herself liking them more after her feelings had started to develop for Jeff. Her and Zoe had also been discussing what having a relationship with a man was like. Dixie had only ever dated one man when she was 17. It hadn't gone well. This had left Dixie clueless about how to act in a relationship with a man.

'So,' Dixie began.

'The man usually pays for dinner?'

'Yeah, unless you're in a long-term relationship.'

'But isn't that a bit unfair?'

'No, it is gentlemanly.' Dixie nodded slowly.

'And, let the man lead.'

'In the bedroom?'

'Sometimes in the bedroom, most of the time outside the bedroom. Men like to have their alpha male role but make sure he knows you wear the trousers in the relationship.'

'I do wear the trousers in the relationship.'

'Good, see you're learning!' Dixie almost rolled her eyes; she hadn't meant it like that.

'Also, they love it if you play dumb. If you want something act dumb, really milk it.'

'Why can't you just ask him straight out?'

'Because you won't get it. Really pull on the alpha male strings.' Dixie wasn't sure about this but thought she'd give it a try; maybe she'd enjoy it. She had also let Zoe paint her nails and had been given some make-up that Zoe had never used.

'Zo, are you sure about this?'

'Sure as sure. I'll show you how to use them.' And she had, Dixie was now sporting foundation and eye shadow. The make-up was foreign and Dixie wasn't sure if she liked the texture but she had to admit, it did help her complexion and enhanced the blue of her eyes. At 11 Dixie called for a cab, thanking Zoe for her help and heading home. She opened and closed the door quietly and locked it before tiptoeing up the stairs and into her room. She undressed and got into her pajamas and went into the bathroom to remove her make-up. On the way back to her room, Dixie peeked into Jeff's. He was sprawled out across his bed, his legs exposed to the chill of the night. Dixie straightened out the covers, tucking him tightly into the bed. She watched him as he slept. Love flowed through her, warming her through her entire body. Butterflies fluttered about in her stomach, she had truthfully never felt this way before and was scared and excited to see how this turned out. She smiled to herself and kissed him gently on the head, backing slowly out of the room.

The morning air was cold so Jeff pulled the covers around him more tightly, reaching out for Dixie's warm body. His hands met cold bed. He sighed, remembering the previous day. It had been the first time in 3 weeks they had slept in different beds. He remembered the cold sinking feeling after receiving Dixie's text, the confusion of finding out it wasn't true and the warm realization that Dixie Collier loved him too. He had made plans for how he was going to tell Dixie he loved her; it would be the perfect night. There was only 6 days until their holiday together and Jeff had a lot to do. He quickly flung back the covers and ran across the room, fumbling for a pencil and paper before sprinting back to his bed and snuggling back down under his warm covers. He spent the next half an hour writing a list of things he needed to do to make their holiday perfect.

Light flooded Dixie's room, she squinted through the harsh light. She stretched and took a double take at her nails. They were painted red. Memories of the night before came back to her, the text and Zoe's house. The advice she had received and the make over came back to her. She examined the nail polish and decided she quite liked it, deciding she would treat herself to getting them done again before hers and Jeff's holiday, maybe take Zoe with her to say thank you. Only 6 days to go until Venice. She also decided she would start packing today. She could sort out some clothes that could be packed ready. She shivered, wishing that Jeff was there to keep her warm. She glanced at the clock. It was almost half ten, she decided to get up and have a shower to warm herself up. She grabbed a towel and wandered through the corridor, pausing to look in on Jeff. She opened the door to see him scribbling away on a crumpled bit of paper.

'Morning Jeff.' Jeff jumped, clasping the piece of paper close to his chest protectively.

'Um, m-morning Dixie.' He stuttered.

'What's that you got there?'

'Nothing, so what time did you get back?'

'11.'

'Oh so, you didn't stay the night then?'

'No.'

'So, this Andrew was a no.'

'I guess.' Dixie swore she could see a smile tug at Jeff's lips.

'What?'

'Nothing!' Dixie looked dubious.

'I'm off for a shower then.'

'Ok, see you in a bit.' Dixie smiled smugly to herself, she knew Jeff was secretly glad that Andrew and her hadn't worked out. The plan had worked, he was jealous.

Dixie sat at the kitchen table writing up a shopping list when Jeff came downstairs.

'Hi Dix.'

'Hi Jeff, we need to go shopping this morning. Get some bits for tonight.' Jeff groaned, it was the first of 3 night shifts. He hated them; they always messed up his sleeping pattern. He got out a cereal packet from the cupboard, reaching his hand into it and stuffing the food into his mouth.

'Ew! Jeff don't do that!'

'Why not?'

'It's disgusting and unhygienic! I have to eat from there too!' Jeff grinned at her, cornflakes stuck to his teeth.

'Unhygienic? I'll tell you what is unhygienic, drinking from the milk carton!'

'What? It is less washing up!'

'Well so is this! You are a big fat hypocrite Dixie Collier!' Dixie stuck her tongue out at him defiantly. They laughed to themselves, they loved that they could joke around with each other like that.

The supermarket was busy and loud when Dixie and Jeff arrived.

'Diiixxx!' Jeff moaned as he was dragged around the fruit and veg aisle.

'Jeffrey! You are acting like you are five years old!'

'But, but fruit and veg?! Why?!'

'It is good for you. And, if you are a good boy I'll make us some chili spaghetti for tonight. Jeff scowled at her, folding his arms. He had an idea.

'Dix?'

'What Jeffrey?!'

'I have a headache, I'm going to buy some paracetamol.' Before she could answer he charged off in the other direction towards the other end of the shop. He took his list of his pocket and started to tick things off when he found them.

Dixie was waiting by the car outside. She had been waiting there for ten minutes after she realized that Jeff had the keys to the car. Finally, she saw Jeff sidle up to her with a bulging shopping bag.

'What are all of those?' She demanded.

'Stuff.' He shrugged his shoulders at her and opened the car.

'What stuff? I thought you went to get paracetamol?'

'None of your business Dixie Collier.' She glared at him.

'Why?'

'Because it isn't to do with you, it's my shopping not yours.' He put his bag in the front seat and helped Dixie put the rest in the boot of the car.

'Why don't you put it in the boot?'

'Because I don't want you looking.'

'I won't.'

'Yes you will, you can't stand not knowing something so I have to protect them with my life.' Dixie carried on glaring at him.

'What are you up to?'

'Nothing Kitten.' Dixie got into the drivers seat and Jeff hopped into the passenger seat, smiling sweetly at Dixie.

Later, Dixie and Jeff sat in the rec. room waiting for a shout. As promised, Dixie had made chili spaghetti for them whilst Jeff hid his shopping in his room. They had dozed the rest of the afternoon away, in separate bedrooms, and were energized and ready for their long night shift.

'Jeff, why was there so much food in the cupboards this morning?'

'From last night, I saw no point in making food as you weren't there to enjoy it.' Dixie sighed.

'Oh yeah, I'm sorry mate. I forgot.'

'I know. It's ok.' Dixie smiled gratefully at Jeff.

'So how was this Andrew then?' Dixie idly flicked through her magazine.

'Oh, fine really. He was a bit of a bore.' Jeff nodded in agreement.

'So, did you kiss?'

'No.'

'Hug?'

'No.'

'Talk?'

'N-I mean of course we did.' Jeff rolled his eyes.

'Holby control to 3006.'

'3006 receiving.'

'RTC with multiple casualties, 3 walking wounded. Urgent backup requested.'

'We're on our way, over.' They got up to leave.

'Come on then Kitten, and when we get back you can tell me all about this Andrew person.' Behind his back Dixie scowled.

The RTC had been big and taken a long time to clear up. There had been one death but apart from that the rest of the casualties ha been lucky and got away with their lives. The next 3 hours were quiet with a call out around every half an hour. Dixie and Jeff were glad; they were emotionally and physically exhausted after the RTC. Jeff flicked through his newspaper not really taking anything in.

'So, what was in your shopping bag earlier Jeff?'

'Nothing Kitten.'

'No Jeff tell me, pretty please?'

'Nope.'

'Why not?'

'Because it is a surprise.'

'For who?'

'My new girlfriend.' Dixie's eyes popped out of her head. Jeff laughed.

'Not really silly, who do you think?'

'Me?'

'Maybe.' Dixie jumped around in her seat.

'I love surprises! Tell me!'

'If I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise would it?' Dixie pouted.

'Meanie.' Jeff chuckled.

'How long until I find out?' Dixie decided to try one of Zoe's techniques. She leaned over in her seat and placed her hand on his thigh. She fluttered her eyelashes. She could see him gulp and his breathing increased.

'Pwease Jeffrey? For me?'

'O-on holiday. You'll find out t-then.' She smiled sweetly at him and kissed his cheek, lingering slightly.

'Aw, thanks Jeffrey. Wuv you!' He tried to avoid her gaze but she could see what she was doing to him. She added in a wink before hopping out of the ambulance and strided off wiggling slightly as she stepped like Zoe had shown her. Jeff breathed a sigh of relief, he was shocked to say the least. He had never known Dixie could be like that. Having her that close had made him struggle to keep his cool. She was definitely flirting with him. He had also noticed she was wearing make-up and had her nails painted too. Was she trying to impress him? If she was it was working. But Jeff didn't care really, he loved her whether she wore make-up or not. He shook his head and followed her out of the ambulance for his chili spaghetti.

Jeff struggled to keep his eyes open as he drove down the road, he was so tired. The shift had dragged on and was now finally at an end. Dixie slumped over in the passenger seat fast asleep and Jeff could only wish he could do the same. Only a few more minutes, or at least that is what he kept telling himself. After what felt like years he pulled up outside the house. Dixie looked up bleary eyed at Jeff. She mumbled something before grabbing her bag and slowly exiting the car. They trudged slowly up to the house and dumped their bags in the hall. Dixie collapsed asleep on the sofa and Jeff gave up joining her.

'Just five more minutes...' He mumbled to himself as he succumbed to sleep.

It was dawn and Jeff woke, his neck clicked as he had been lying in an awkward position. He looked over at Dixie who was still fast asleep.

'Dix...' He mumbled, shaking her awake.

'Go away Jeffrey.' She wafted her hand around in an attempt to keep him away.

'Dix, you can't sleep here. Come to bed Kitten.'

'To tired to walk.' Jeff sighed and stretched.

'You leave me no choice then.' He slid his hands under her knees and back and lifted her up. Dixie grabbed Jeff's tee-shirt.

'Put me down!' She squealed now fully awake. Jeff walked up the stairs with her, wandering through to her bedroom and throwing her onto her bed.

'Jeffrey!' He laughed as she grabbed his shirt and pulled his head down to hers, putting him in a tight headlock.

'Dix! Ow!' She laughed.

'You should have put me down then!' Jeff started to tickle her, she grabbed his shirt again and he landed on top of her. Their laughter dissolved into silence as they quietly stared into each other's eyes. Dixie snaked her arms around his neck pulling him down to her, their faces inches from each other. Their noses touched briefly before Jeff snapped out of it, squeezing her sides and tickling her again.

'Stop, ok! I give in!' Dixie breathed a sigh of relief, she lay back on the covers feeling sleep come over her again. She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

'Come on Kitten.' Jeff pulled the covers back and slid in.

'Jeffrey?'

'I'm too tired to walk.' Dixie giggled and slid in after him.

'Ok then.' She was secretly glad that Jeff was back with her and she was back in his arms where she belonged. Dixie had thought they were going to kiss, she had wanted them to but Jeff had carried on tickling her. Maybe he hadn't noticed, she'd have to try harder to get him to notice her more. Maybe then he would kiss her. She grinned, she knew exactly how to do it.

Dixie woke sprawled over Jeff's body. After laying there for a few minutes more, she gently got up so not to wake up Jeff. She went downstairs and let Little Abs out into the garden, putting the kettle on and then joining him outside l. She watched Little Abs run around wildly. How fun it would be to not have a single care in the world. She thought. She smiled to herself. The sun was already high in the sky, the air was refreshing and Dixie felt at peace. She felt truly happy. She was almost 100% sure that Jeff liked her too, she was just going to have to try harder to make him notice her. She was going to buy a new dress for Venice, not too showy or expensive, but just right. Something that flattered her and complimented her in all the right places. She lent back against the house thinking. She wanted someone else's opinion. She thought carefully for a while. She scrolled through her contacts considering each person. She stopped at Linda's name, if she asked her for her help would she blab? Maybe she could twist it so it wasn't obvious who she was trying to impress. She pressed the call button and put the phone to her ear.

'Hello?'

'Hi Linda it's Dixie.'

'Oh, hiya! You alright?'

'Yeah, I was wondering if you were free to come shopping today?'

An hour later Dixie and Linda were searching through the shops for the perfect dress.

'Thanks again for doing this Lind.'

'It's ok, who are we trying to impress again?'

'A male friend.'

'Male?'

'Yeah, I think he may be the one. I just really want to make him notice me so he won't ever want to look away.' Dixie sniggered at Linda's shocked face.

'Ok, who is he?'

'Nobody you know.' Linda sighed.

'But how am I meant to know what he likes and dislikes?'

'You're not meant to. It should make any man look twice.'

'Ok then.' Linda thought before placing a number of dresses in Dixie's arms, pushing her into a changing room.

'Too tight, too long, too bright, too dull.' Dresses were flung back at her through the changing room curtain. Dixie went quiet for a while.

'Dix?'

'Ok, this one is alright.'

'Let's see.' Dixie came out of the changing room. A smile spread across Linda's face.

'Perfect.'

Jeff sat cross legged on the floor of his bedroom, bits of newspaper spread around him. He looked pleased at his handy work. He checked his watch, Dixie would be back soon. He packed away his items under his already packed clothes and then hid his suitcase under his bed. He finished just in time, hearing Dixie letting herself into the house. He went downstairs to greet her.

'Hi Jeff.'

'Did you have a good time Kitten?'

'Yeah, what did you do when I was gone?'

'Just watched the telly and did a bit of packing. Less than a week now.' Dixie wooped and ran up the stairs.

'Where you going?'

'Unpacking my shopping!'

'Ok!' Jeff yawned, feeling tired again after his night shift. He was pleased, Dixie was almost like her old self. He didn't think she would ever be quite the same again, she had changed. But Jeff had come to the conclusion that sometimes change is good. Dixie would never be the old Dixie, the shadow would always be there hiding behind her mask but he could see that she was different in a good way too. Her love for him had become obvious to Jeff and she would often open up more and talk about her feelings to him which she never used to do. He liked that. Jeff stretched and yawned again, he decided to make himself a cup of tea and go up to bed. He had a long night up ahead of him again.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Jeff and Dixie walked into the airport. Dawn was just breaking outside as they trudged sleepily into the airport. They had hardly spoken since they woke as it was too early and both were still half asleep. They checked in their luggage wearily and walked through the already bustling crowds towards security. Dixie giggled as Jeff walked through the scanner it beeped and he was searched. He had some spare change on him so it went through the machine. Jeff waited for her on the other side while she went through. Dixie collected her bag and they proceeded. Holby airport was huge and it was very easy to get lost. Dixie and Jeff went to a nearby café and ordered coffee whilst they waited for their gate to open. Dixie looked up from her mug as Jeff came back from the loo. They sat in silence for a while before Jeff spoke.

"Dix?"

"Mm?" She stifled a yawn.

"Do you want to play a game?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"What type of game?"

"A fun one." She leant back sceptically in her chair.

"Ok. What do I have to do?"

"Find clues to my statement and put them together." She looked confused.

"Find them where?"

"All kinds of places today."

"What's the statement?"

"You have to guess, that's the point." Dixie gave him a look but nodded slowly.

"And how have you hidden them already?" Jeff tapped his nose and picked up his coffee smiling.

After they had finished they got up to leave and look around some of the shops. Dixie picked up the tray and took a double take. There was a brown envelope underneath it. It had her name written on the front.

"Jeff?" He turned and grinned. _How has he got it there? _She asked herself. She couldn't remember him putting it there. She picked it up and opened it. Inside was letters L and U. They looked like a newspaper cutting. She grinned at Jeff.

"You've had this planned haven't you?" He nodded before linking arms with her and leading her towards the shops.

It took two hours in the plane to get to Venice. Jeff had slept most of the way whilst Dixie read her book. She never could sleep on moving vehicles. She had also been thinking; she couldn't say that she wasn't nervous. She was also excited for what this holiday could do for her and Jeff's relationship. She was filled with butterflies in her stomach. They arrived at the hotel and now stood at the door of their room excited and eager for the start of their holiday. Jeff unlocked the door ad they carried their suitcases through into the room. It was big and airy with cool tiles on the floor and white walls that reflected the sun from the early morning light. There were two rooms, a living area with a small kitchen and a seating area filled with one big sofa and a bedroom with an en suite bathroom. Dixie looked at the big four-poster bed longingly, where was the other person meant to sleep? She voiced her concern with Jeff.

"Well I thought we may as well as it's cheaper. It isn't as if we haven't shared a bed before." He reasoned. Dixie blushed slightly and nodded.

"Ok." They unpacked and changed into some cooler clothes, as it was getting warmer as the day went on. They decided to stay at the hotel for lunch before going for a walk around the city. They were about to leave the hotel room when Dixie noticed another envelope lying on the kitchen table. Again it had her name written on the front and inside there were two letters, O and I. Dixie smiled to herself before putting the two envelopes in her bag and leaving the room. The rest of the afternoon was spent looking around Venice and it's beautiful buildings and sights. They eventually ended up back at the hotel.

"Dixie, tonight I am taking you out for dinner. It's that really nice place we went past today." Dixie's eyes opened.

"Jeff! That one looked so… expensive!" Jeff smiled.

"You'll be worth every penny." Dixie's heart fluttered as she nodded and shyly and went over to Jeff, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you. Should I go and get ready?" Jeff nodded and smiled goofily at her. The butterflies grew as Dixie got ready putting her new dress and make up on. She had never been one for make up or dressing up nicely but even so, it made her feel feminine and confidant. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her dress was purple with a black band around her middle. She hadn't liked it at first as it felt constricting but it made her look skinner and her hips more prominent. The hem came above her knees and although the dress was simple, it suited her in a feminine way. She smiled at herself. She felt the happiest she had been in weeks. The dull empty throb was always there inside her and she knew that it would never go but with all these new feelings rushing about inside her it was masked. She took a deep breathe before going through to see Jeff. Jeff looked up from the book he was reading and a smile spread across his face.

"Will I do?"

"Wow, you look… amazing." He commented. Dixie smiled at him.

"Hadn't you better go and get ready?" Jeff nodded numbly before slowly getting up. His eyes didn't leave her as he left the room. Dixie liked that.

They walked slowly through the streets of Venice as the sun set behind them. Both Dixie and Jeff took fleeting looks at each other out of the corner of their eyes, each fearing the other would see. They stopped at a small bridge.

"Why are we stopping?" Dixie asked. Jeff took her arm and gently lead her down a small side slope where gondolas where waiting or boarding people.

"We can't come to Venice without a gondola ride." Jeff stated as they climbed into an awaiting boat. Jeff paid the boats driver. The ride was relaxing for them as they slowly crawled through Venice. Jeff got out his camera and before she could say anything had taken a photo of her.

"Jeff!" She gave him evils from her seat but Jeff just smiled. The boat's driver paused before tapping Dixie on the shoulder and handing her another envelope. She thanked him before opening it. There were another two letters, V and E, inside.

"Jeff, how many more envelopes are there?"

"Just one." He said. He smiled to himself as they drifted lazily through Venice.

Dixie's POV

We are sitting in a quiet and candle lit corner in the restaurant a short way from the gondolas. Jeff has just disappeared to go to the toilet. But he has been gone for five minutes. Ok, I'm not going to freak out but I don't know where he has gone. Excitement and nerves fill me up. Could he be getting the last envelope? To busy my mind I lay out the letters from the envelopes on the table. There is an L, U, O, I, V and E. And the two more letters I haven't got yet. I rearrange them but can't make it into any sense. I sigh in annoyance.

"Hi Dix." I look up alarmed at him.

"And where have you been?"

"Toilet." I shake my head at him. A waiter walks over to take our orders.

"What can I get you?" He had a thick accent and spoke in very simple English. I started to note all the little things that usually I wouldn't pay attention to. We placed our orders and the waiter briskly walked off to the kitchens. Jeff looked at me contentedly. I noticed him fiddling absent-mindedly with the corner of the white tablecloth.

"I'm having an amazing time Jeff and we haven't even been here for a day. Thank you." I gave him a warm smile.

"It's ok, you mean a lot to me Kitten and I hope you know that."

"I do Jeff. You mean a lot to me too." He grinned.

"So have you worked out the statement yet?

"No." I sigh and lean back in my chair.

"I'm going to need the last envelope I'm afraid." Jeff just smiled at me. After a few moments of looking at each other I couldn't take it anymore, why wouldn't he just tell me? I excuse myself from the table and head towards the ladies loos for a breather. I stare at myself in the mirror for a long time before I take a big breath and head back into the restaurant. Jeff looks up at me as I come back. The waiter comes back with our food and I thank him. He taps my shoulder and I turn around. He hands me a brown envelope. My heart thumps manically in my chest. I take it and thank the waiter. I go to open it but Jeff stops me.

"Shall we eat this first? After the plates are out of the way then you can open it." I grudgingly nod and turn to my dinner. I swear the food multiplied every time I took a bite; the meal seemed to go on forever. At last I finished my meal and the waiter took the plates. I opened the last envelope. There is the letter Y and a small silver necklace with a little flower pendant. I smile. I can feel Jeff's eyes on me. He rearranges the letters on the table to form three words:

I LOVE YOU

I swear my heart has stopped.

Jeff POV

I watched her face as she took in the words laid out before her. She had frozen and her expression was unreadable. Was this good? I felt obliged to explain myself.

"Dix, you know me, I have never been one for romantic gestures. I mean, I asked Lucy out in the local chippy and you know that. But that's just it. You know every single detail about me except this one. Until now anyway. I have always loved you, but for most of that part in a friendly sense. Not romantically at all. I think you feel the same way. I-I hope you do." I tired to stop stuttering and just tell her how I felt.

"The past month has been difficult for you and our relationship. You changed and so did I in a sense. But change is sometimes good. You opened up to me in a way you never had before and for me that was so brave of you. For the first time in your life you let a man come into it and protect you and look after you and that was a big step. I don't know when I started loving you properly because it grew on me. The thought of us being in a non-platonic relationship was alien to me but so welcome at the same time. It has been a confusing time for me. That text with Andrew in it, when I saw it my heart stopped and ached and I hurt all over. But then it wasn't true and I realised the truth. I was just going to come clean with you that evening but then I thought that I was being hasty. Just like I was with Lucy. So, that's why I have gone to all this trouble. To tell you how strong my love is for you and to come clean about everything. We don't have secrets. So, I love you Kathleen Collier. I have never wanted something this much." She was watching me contently as I finished. She slowly looked at the necklace. She gave me a weak smile.

"And I love you too Jeff. This means so much to me." Her eyes watered and she brushed them gently. She smiled and so did I.

"Do you like the necklace?" She nodded.

"Help me put it on?" I stood and helped to fix it around her neck. As an afterthought I pressed a light kiss onto her shoulder. She quietly laughed.

"The thought of romance and gestures like this usually make me feel sick. But this doesn't. This makes me feel so loved and special." I smile at this.

"Only the best for my love."

I truly have never been happier.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Jeff lay in bed, looking across at the beautiful woman beside him. He was so happy; he didn't think their evening could have been any better.

~Flashback~

Jeff and Dixie slowly walked back to the hotel hand in hand, elated by their first kiss and feeling warm inside. Dixie looked across at Jeff, he had a soppy grin on his face and he turned and caught her eye. She grinned before leaning in gently planting a kiss on his lips. She was so happy; Jeff's romantic gesture had been so lovely. She felt so loved and special. Jeff's heart was doing somersaults, he was so happy everything had gone so well and most importantly Dixie loved him too. He felt like jumping around and shouting it to the world, Dixie Dixon loved him! Nobody else just him, Jeffrey Collier. He couldn't stop smiling.

~End flashback~

Dixie moved in her sleep, reaching out for him and mumbling quietly. Jeff pulled her body in closer and wrapped his arms around her tighter. She sighed, seemingly content. Jeff smiled.

~Flashback~

They reached the hotel and wandered back up to their room. Jeff unlocked their door and let them in. Dixie slipped off her shoes and grabbed Jeff's hand, leading him to the sofa and sitting down next to him. Jeff still was smiling and so was she; they were relieved and happy that their love was reciprocated.

'Jeff, I want to explain. I don't fancy men. You know that, and I haven't found a woman attracted in a long time. But you, you just outdo the rest. No competition. I think you should know, I really, really fancy you.' She leaned forward and started fiddling with his collar on his shirt.

'I feel the same, I've had a bit of a crush on you for a while now.' He confessed. He blushed. Dixie's smile widened and they lent in again, capturing each other's lips in a slow and lustful kiss. The pace quickened and soon their hands were wandering, relishing being able to finally touch one another properly. Dixie pulled Jeff's shirt out of his trousers, her hand gliding up his chest. Jeff ran his hands down her back venturing further down each time until he reached her backside and squeezed slightly. Dixie giggled and squirmed under his touch. She had never thought she would so much enjoy touching a man as she was now. She pushed Jeff down onto the sofa and laid on top of him, her tongue fighting against his for dominance.

~End flashback~

They had come so close, he thought. They would one day and that was for sure. But for now he just wanted to enjoy the feeling of their first day as a couple. He didn't want to make things too heavy in the first few days or weeks.

~Flashback~

Jeff pulled away but Dixie persisted her attack sucking on his neck.

'D-Dix slow down.'

'Make me.' She whispered. Jeff felt his body reacting to her and sat her up and moved so they were sitting next to each other again. Dixie kissed him again but against all of his might he pulled back again.

'Jeff, what's wrong?' She asked timidly. She was scared she had done something wrong.

'Nothing I promise, I just didn't think you'd be this confident.' He grinned at her.

'I really like it.' She still looked worried.

'So why have you stopped?'

'Because I don't want to rush you or this relationship faster than you want and I don't want you to regret this.' Dixie's face fell.

'I won't though.'

'You say that now.'

'Jeff please, I really want this.' Jeff looked into her eyes, she wasn't lying.

'Ok, how about this? We wait a bit and if you still really want to then I will give in to my desire for you.' Dixie nodded eagerly. She wound her arms around his waist and he enclosed her in a tight embrace.

'I love you.' He muttered into her hair.

'Not as much as I love you.'

'Impossible.' Jeff finished. Dixie was sure of what she wanted but she did like that Jeff was so protective and thoughtful. It made her feel looked after and loved even more.

~End flashback~

Their evening had finished perfectly, enjoying the view from their balcony in their room holding hands before changing and getting ready to go to bed.

~Flashback~

Dixie came back from the bathroom in her pajamas; she looked sleepy and yawned as she entered the room.

'Dix?'

'Yes Jeff?'

'Do you... Want me to sleep on the sofa?' She looked alarmed and answered quickly.

'No. I mean... you'll hurt your back. Stay.'

'Are you sure? I cou-'

'No! Stay. Please.' Her eyes pleaded with me. Of course I could never say no.

'Ok.' I smiled before walking into the bathroom.

~End flashback~

And that's how the evening finished. I came back into the room to find her already sitting waiting for me under the covers. I slipped under the covers on the other side of the bed. We lay on our separate sides silently, neither being able to sleep. Dixie turned on her side to face me. I faced her too. I so wanted to reach out and hold her. I read her eyes. They were almost imploring with me, asking whether she could just move closer. I opened my arms hesitantly. She grinned and shuffled into them, laying her head on my chest willingly. I smiled and leant down to kiss her head.

'I love you Dixie, you are perfect.' I smiled in the dark.

'I love you too Jeff, you are perfect too.' I almost came back with a comment dripping with sarcasm but held back. I didn't want to spoil the moment. I love her and always will.


End file.
